When I Asked You If You Loved Me

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by Diana Marcos

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When I asked you if you loved me,
you turned your back and refused to face me
“Of course, I do,” that was what you said
But I never knew what was going on in your head.

When I asked you if you loved me,
I was hoping you would say the words immediately
But you just smiled at me with your captivating caramel eyes
And I could not decipher whether or not they were just expressing lies.

When I asked you if you loved me,
you walked a few steps away from me,
You looked at me with disappointment
When all I wanted was acknowledgement.

When I asked you if you loved me,
I was confused with the response you gave me
You planted a kiss on top of my head
You squeezed my body under the sheets in your bed.

When I asked you if you loved me,
I asked not because I believed you didn’t
I knew you did, but I wanted to be reminded
But all you believed in was that you weren’t trusted.

When I asked you if you loved me,
I didn’t foresee that you would leave me,
With all the happy memories you had shared with me
I never knew you had the capacity to forget me that quickly.

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Senses XIII: Thoughts and Satisfaction

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You stimulate my thoughts

the way I want your fingers

to run through my skin —

moving light and slow

until I lose control;

you spur the desires

out of my chest

the way I want you to

colonize my entire soul;

and you dominate my mind

the way your arms

snake around my body

on a cold, wintry night —

abrupt and careless

yet filled with satisfaction.

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Senses X: Lost Feelings

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I want to write you a poem
that would make you feel loved
but neither could I fathom
nor express the feelings I have
for you right at this moment
I could love you today
and hate you tomorrow
I could get drunk and kiss you
and then push you away
I could say all the things
you want me to say
and leave you expecting,
parching, starving
looking for love that got lost
before it even began
right under these sheets.

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Systole

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Tiny veins contracting
Blood ceaselessly pumping
Into beating hearts causing systole
A sign of life; a sign of normality
But, you know what’s not?
How I feel for you
when I see your lips curve upwards
my heart ceases to contract
my blood refuses to pump
my heart has a mind on its own
and decides to skip a beat
I forget my heart actually exists
and when I feel your skin against mine
I remember it is you
who makes my heart complete.

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Senses VII: His Sight

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Little by little, I opened my eyes
to find two beautiful orbs
staring back at me
A long curve was drawn on his face

I wish I could tell him how incredible it was
to always see his eyes smile
I wanted to lose myself in it
As it made me bleed myself in pure delight.

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Senses IV: Motion

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I saw you moving your lips in slow motion
but all I heard was silence
I saw you moving your hips like the big waves in the ocean
but I still couldn’t feel your presence

If this was just me dying a couple of times inside
then slay me with your love once again tonight
Make me feel all of your pain
Let me hear the screaming of a thousand cranes.

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Senses II: Marks

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You lay on your side
As I traced your skin with my lips
I touched the marks that were left unhealed
I felt your heart skips a beat.

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Have I Not Told You Yet?

We all have a sacred, wild, healing, wise force within us; our inner Shaman. The concept of an inner Shaman suggests that we are not just a part of God/Goddess, we do not just contain a spark of this brilliance, we ARE God/Goddess manifest in human form. We are not just a part of nature, we ARE nature. We do not just have beauty within us, we ARE beauty. Awaken the inner Shaman from her dream and synchronize with the power to heal, step into purpose, and live as your sacred self.:
(source)

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The leaves fall
as Fall leaves.
The sun dazzles
before your dazzling eyes
Have I not told you yet?
You aren’t just my Universe,
You are my entire Supermassive Blackhole

To me,
You are worth the millions and billions
of solar masses
You are the body of my galaxy
The eye of my constellation
The only star falling for me

You are my entire life
My everything
I lose myself in you
Have I not told you yet?

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Fetish

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This fetish of mine
will never make up for the
life I have with you

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Smile

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They say we don't need
any reasons to smile
I say that's bullshit.

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SPACE

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I dreaded the          space

between us

for I know it will take you

farther away from

me

And now you are

g_ne.

Why are you

gone?

You could have been my

SUN

The center of my

UNIVERSE

When you turned you kcab

and

                                             D

                                      R

                                 I

                          F

                   T

              E

         D

away,

my

B

      R

            O

K

E

and

e              x                   p              l                 o             d              e          d

into million pieces

like a

S U P E R N O V A

b     u        r s                  t     i n          g 

into space,

an

empty


.

.

.

.

space.

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War

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Many wars have gone by
But the war inside my heart
is still ongoing.

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Guardian Angel (Senryu Installations)

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How lovely is it

to have a friend just like you.

You will never know

You are the sunshine

that gives my heart warmth and joy

You are my lucky charm

If one day you leave

Know that I would always wait

for you to come back

You make me better

You are my guardian angel

You will never know

That you will always

be the person who gives me

a reason to smile.

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Dream

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I dreamed of a brighter day

but it didn’t last

I also craved for the dark

Because in it I found solace

I dreamed of rainbow colors

but black and white

made my life way better

and opened me more doors

I dreamed of milk chocolates

but it was too sweet

and I am bitter

So I asked for tight corsets

I dreamed of a pink cotton candy

but it was too cute and fluffy

which was not the one I needed

not unless it was a bottle of brandy

I dreamed of life-sized teddy bears

because they do not die

they do not wither

like a bouquet of flowers

I have never truly dreamed

of anything real besides him

because he was the dream

that came true without me wishing.

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Life Priorities

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Don’t tell me to get a life
because my life doesn’t revolve around you
You aren’t the center of my universe
You aren’t the moon to my sun
Nor the milky way to my galaxy
But you should know that
In my list of priorities,
You’re on the topmost part of it.

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Appreciation

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You may have not noticed

the way my eyes light up

with adoration

when you smile

You may have not felt

the way you touch my heart

the second

you produce a sound

I am sure you haven’t

and you will never have

unless I make it apparent

but one day,

I know

you will no longer be around

and I don’t want to wait

until that day to tell you

that I appreciate

every inch of you.

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Love is a Place for You and Me.



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Love.

Do you know that there is a special place just above the sky

that is designed especially for the two of us?

A place where the oceans meet

             where the clouds overlap

             where the stars and the moons reside

             where a thousand suns illuminate your eyes

             where millions of roses rest under your feet.

There, you can find a waterfall named after your tears

A river where all of your dreams may come true

A castle stands in the middle of the sea

floating above the waters so you could walk without using your feet.

This place I am telling you is made out of love

A love that is stronger than the wind in a stormy night

A love that even the deadliest warrior in history of all histories can never destroy

A love that is just for you and me.HorizontalBar_2

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Imperfect

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I don't want to wait
if it will take many years
I am not perfect. 

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The Sky

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It is not the sea

that makes us feel more distant

Love, it is the sky.

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Metanoia

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A flowerless mimosa pudica

lays untouched

in the middle of the desert

parched and gasping

waiting to be moved

by your Ferocactus

so fleshy and succulent

ginormous and stretched

It makes it want to wish

it was a dandelion

fulfilling what you crave

There is something in you

that makes it want to fit in

to blend in

Your power over it is staggering

transforming

life changing

because that is what you are.

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