I am here to confess and talk about friendship.
In the past four months, since I decided to move back to Manila while nursing my broken heart, I have met incredible people I now call my friends.
But how many people out of 100 would one really consider friends? What type of people would you genuinely call your friends?
For me, it is very important that you only surround yourself with people who are high-quality. Why? BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SEE YOURSELF AS A HIGH-QUALITY PERSON. And as a high-quality person, you need to be with people who are exactly just like you.
High-quality people will make you a better you. They will inspire and motivate you to think big. They have gone through a lot in their lives and have learned from all of it. Being around them will also awaken that burning desire of you to learn and improve yourself.
When you think of high-quality people, the first thing that may come into your mind is rich people, especially those who have gone from rags to riches. But based on my own observation and personal experience with people I have met in the last four months, it doesn’t really matter whether you were born with a silver spoon in your mouths or not, or if you just eked out for a living so much so that you eventually found the pot of gold that lifted you out of poverty.
So how do you become a high-quality person to your friends?
Here are high qualities you must possess:
- Know the value of the time they spend with you.
- Appreciate their presence.
- Value their time and effort.
- Do not let them down. In times of crisis, always try to be there and not leave them behind.
- Don’t turn your back on them.
- Defend them when you know they need it and deserve it.
- Help them become a better version of themselves.
- Do not spill their secrets to others even to strangers.
- Do not talk bad about them because you know what it feels like to be in their situation.
Low-Qualities you should not possess:
Thinking highly of yourself and taking other people’s time for granted.
You see, everyone’s time is valuable. But for some reason, there are people who think their time is the most precious and most valuable thing in this world. People who act like this are usually those who are socially and economically blessed. They think they are higher than you are because they are successful and you are not, so you do not have any rights to complain about anything,
They get mad once you make them feel like you don’t appreciate the time they make for you. But to be honest, they only think about themselves. Most of the time, they are the ones who do not appreciate and value the time you spend on them. They do not see that making time for one another is a two-way street. Do not follow these people.
Only seeing a friend as a backup plan.
At one point in your life, you will come across people who will only see you as a backup plan and put you at the very bottom of their priority list. You do not need these people. You do not deserve to be a second thought or someone they can just pick or choose whenever they want or when they are left with zero options. No one deserves that.
Spilling secrets and violating others’ privacy.
Another thing low-quality people do is talking about someone behind their back and telling people their secrets. I have met this group of friends four months ago. At first, I had a very high sense of respect for them. They are successful with their businesses, living a really good life. But as time went by, I slowly lost my respect for them and realized they weren’t the right people to look up to.
Why? Because they tolerate one another’s bullshits and then talk bad about one another. One example will have to do with cheating. Two guys cheat on their “wives” on a regular basis and their friends support them, even lending them their space for a night so they can sleep with different women other than their supposedly “wives”. Another guy plays around and sleeps with different women, treating them as objects, taking videos of them while doing intimate stuff. What else? Oh…let’s not forget the fact I was sexually harassed by one of them.
These people have no respect for others, especially women. For them, women are to be objectified and ridiculed for their bodies. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I cringe when I think about it and I regret surrounding myself with them. Learn from my mistakes. You should never ever surround yourself with low-quality people like them.
And I hate to say this, but…most of the time, what a person is has something to do with how he was raised. If a person grew up being disrespectful and not being taught with proper manners, it will be hard for him to change.
Hence, I don’t see hope for low-quality people. The only hope I see now is for you…to be able to get rid of them and not replicate them.
THE QUALITY OF A PERSON ISN’T MEASURED BY HOW MUCH HE POSSESSES BUT BY HOW HE WAS RAISED AND WHO HE IS IN GENERAL.