How to be a High-Quality Person

I am here to confess and talk about friendship.

In the past four months, since I decided to move back to Manila while nursing my broken heart, I have met incredible people I now call my friends.

But how many people out of 100 would one really consider friends? What type of people would you genuinely call your friends?

For me, it is very important that you only surround yourself with people who are high-quality. Why? BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SEE YOURSELF AS A HIGH-QUALITY PERSON. And as a high-quality person, you need to be with people who are exactly just like you.

High-quality people will make you a better you. They will inspire and motivate you to think big. They have gone through a lot in their lives and have learned from all of it. Being around them will also awaken that burning desire of you to learn and improve yourself.

When you think of high-quality people, the first thing that may come into your mind is rich people, especially those who have gone from rags to riches. But based on my own observation and personal experience with people I have met in the last four months, it doesn’t really matter whether you were born with a silver spoon in your mouths or not, or if you just eked out for a living so much so that you eventually found the pot of gold that lifted you out of poverty.

So how do you become a high-quality person to your friends?

Here are high qualities you must possess:

  • Know the value of the time they spend with you.
  • Appreciate their presence.
  • Value their time and effort.
  • Reciprocate.
  • Do not let them down. In times of crisis, always try to be there and not leave them behind.
  • Don’t turn your back on them.
  • Defend them when you know they need it and deserve it.
  • Help them become a better version of themselves.
  • Do not spill their secrets to others even to strangers.
  • Do not talk bad about them because you know what it feels like to be in their situation.

Low-Qualities you should not possess:

Thinking highly of yourself and taking other people’s time for granted.

You see, everyone’s time is valuable. But for some reason, there are people who think their time is the most precious and most valuable thing in this world. People who act like this are usually those who are socially and economically blessed. They think they are higher than you are because they are successful and you are not, so you do not have any rights to complain about anything,

They get mad once you make them feel like you don’t appreciate the time they make for you. But to be honest, they only think about themselves. Most of the time, they are the ones who do not appreciate and value the time you spend on them. They do not see that making time for one another is a two-way street. Do not follow these people.

Only seeing a friend as a backup plan.

At one point in your life, you will come across people who will only see you as a backup plan and put you at the very bottom of their priority list. You do not need these people. You do not deserve to be a second thought or someone they can just pick or choose whenever they want or when they are left with zero options. No one deserves that.

Spilling secrets and violating others’ privacy.

Another thing low-quality people do is talking about someone behind their back and telling people their secrets. I have met this group of friends four months ago. At first, I had a very high sense of respect for them. They are successful with their businesses, living a really good life. But as time went by, I slowly lost my respect for them and realized they weren’t the right people to look up to.

Why? Because they tolerate one another’s bullshits and then talk bad about one another. One example will have to do with cheating. Two guys cheat on their “wives” on a regular basis and their friends support them, even lending them their space for a night so they can sleep with different women other than their supposedly “wives”. Another guy plays around and sleeps with different women, treating them as objects, taking videos of them while doing intimate stuff. What else? Oh…let’s not forget the fact I was sexually harassed by one of them.

These people have no respect for others, especially women. For them, women are to be objectified and ridiculed for their bodies. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I cringe when I think about it and I regret surrounding myself with them. Learn from my mistakes. You should never ever surround yourself with low-quality people like them.

And I hate to say this, but…most of the time, what a person is has something to do with how he was raised. If a person grew up being disrespectful and not being taught with proper manners, it will be hard for him to change.

Hence, I don’t see hope for low-quality people. The only hope I see now is for you…to be able to get rid of them and not replicate them.

THE QUALITY OF A PERSON ISN’T MEASURED BY HOW MUCH HE POSSESSES BUT BY HOW HE WAS RAISED AND WHO HE IS IN GENERAL. 

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Open Letter: Just Let Them Go

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How many times have you blamed yourself for whatever happened to people you used to care about? Has this helped you feel better in any way? I sure am not. Hence, instead of constantly blaming yourself for a failed relationship or friendship, it would be better for you to just let go. Let go of people. Let go of yourself. Let go of your feelings. But when do you know it is time to let go and which people do you need to disassociate yourself with?

WHO TO LET GO

01 That person who ONLY talks to you when s/he needs something from you.

Sometimes you meet someone and at first, things go really well between the two of you…until you notice that you have started talking to each other less and less. And one day, this person comes to you and asks you for help. Of course, being the good person that you are, you will help him/her, and s/he goes on with his/her life once again.

02 That person who only talks about himself/herself.

This person does not ask about you after you ask her how his/her day has been. This is the person who does not ask for your opinion or reaction right after s/he shares his/hers and would go on talking until s/he can’t say anything anymore.

03 That person who only listens so s/he could talk, or that friend who doesn’t listen at all.

Yes, s/he listens to you, but only because s/he wants to say something about it. Sometimes, s/he even pretends to listen and becomes impatient and hurry you up, so s/he could finally share his/her thoughts.

04 That person who only sees you as a rebound friend, manipulates you and guilt-trips you.

S/he only knows you when his/her other friends are not around,and s/he tries to manipulate you to get what s/he wants. S/he constantly asks for your attention when  no one is giving it to him/her, and would guilt-trip you when s/he is not getting anything from you.

05 That person who only remembers you during the bad times.

I mean…it is very nice to think that someone remembers you during their bad days, but if they are only there with you because they know you would help them feel better, is that still a good thing? Definitely not. This person would surely forget you exist once their bad days are over.

06 That person who only sees your bad qualities and does not recognize the good things you have done.

There are people who always see the best in you, while there are also some who only remember you for your bad qualities. Everyone has their own dark side, but if a person only sees the bad in you, and does not recognize that you also have good qualities, then you will just spend your life trying to figure out why this person does not see you the way others do.

07 That person whose behavior changes according to people s/he is with.

We cannot avoid meeting and interacting with someone whose behavioral acts differ according to the people they are with. One time, they are so good around you, and the next time they are with another group of people, they change, and they treat you a bit differently.

08 That person who forgets to invite you.

There is nothing more painful than not being invited to a party, an outing, an event or even to dinner by someone you expect to be your friend. It makes you feel like you are just an option and your presence does notreally matter that much.

09 That person who doesn’t bother to call when you are sick or when you are in a terrible situation.

This person wouldn’t dare to call because s/he doesn’t care whether or not you are coping up well or not.

10 That person who does not care whether or not you let go of him/her.

It is hard to accept, but there are people who do not see our importance in their lives. If you do not matter to someone, then s/he wouldn’t care whether or not you stay or leave.

At first, you will of course try your best to work things out, but if it doesn’t work out and you’re the only one trying to make an effort, then have a little respect for yourself and open your eyes to the fact that it is not going to work out anymore.

Letting go of these kinds of people are sometimes the best thing one can do. It may make you look selfish and insensitive, but you have to remember that before you have to offer your love and trust to people, you have to trust and love youself first. You have to focus on what makes you happy, and remember not to give everything, as it may just cause you pain in the long run.

Don’t ever blame yourself for a failed relationship. Don’t be so hard on yourself. People come and go, and it isn’t your fault. Sometimes people have to leave because it is for the best.

When your relationship or your friendship is no longer growing, but is slowly going down the drain instead, and you can no longer do anything to work it out, letting go is sometimes the better option than staying and letting the relationship ruin each of you.

When you decide to let go of the people that once meant so much to you, sometimes you won’t help but feel guilty. You feel guilty for letting things get in the way. You’d also probably feel like a loser because you are choosing to give up.

But no…giving up doesn’t always make you a loser. It makes you a winner because you have the courage and strength to let go of something that was very important to you, but doesn’t see your importance.

You have to remember that you are one special piece of snowflake, and you, just like everyone else, deserve better.

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All That I’ve Got

I need something else

Would someone please just give me

Hit me, knock me out

And let me go back to sleep

— All That I’ve Got – The Used
My mornings usually start with looking at my phone and finding a message from my sister, and my nights usually end with another message from her reminding me how much she loves and misses me. She does this even at times I don’t get a chance to respond to her.

I have always thought that my sister is the most misunderstood member in our family. Our dad’s family has always seen her as the black sheep, psycho granddaughter, niece, daughter, cousin and sister. They think of her as someone who shouldn’t be imitated, despite the praises they give her for being so smart in school.

I remember them reminding me not to be like her. I remember myself reassuring them I won’t, although in my mind, I know that my sister is the best and I am very proud of her.

I could not blame our relatives for calling her a black sheep and for seeing her that way. She has always been the one who goes against rules when she knows that these rules violate her right as a person. I think I may have gotten that attitude from her.

My sister has a personality disorder, and she has been through a lot of traumatic events in her life. She has suffered more than I have, yet she remains to be my strength. I couldn’t be any more proud of having her as my sister. I get anxious and really depressed every single second but every time she tells me she loves me, I feel a whole lot better.

It’s a little bit funny because I know how often she gets depressed, yet she always seems so happy every time she texts me or calls me on the phone. In fact, she always sounds so cheerful and enthusiastic. I admire her ability to cover what she really feels deep inside her. I know her too well. I know she has negative thoughts and that she has still been fighting off her demons. She is doing a really good job in hiding it.

I have to admit that behind these self-strength posts I always write is an anxious and depressive woman who continuously tries to battle all the things that makes her feel bad about herself.

Every day, just like what my sister does, I do my best to be the better version of myself. I try to smile, to laugh, and to think of myself as a strong person. Sometimes I fail, but every time I do, I think of my sister and remember how she, herself, has done her best to be better, to think positively and to be happy despite every thing.

I know that we’re not perfect. We make stupid mistakes, but these mistakes help us learn and grow day by day. My sister doesn’t have to remind me to learn from her, but I do remember how she never lets her past hinder her from being the amazing person that she is.

Sometimes, we learn from our mistakes. Sometimes, we learn from others. Sometimes, we grow on our own. Sometimes, we grow with others. ❤️

I’ll be just fine

Pretending I’m not

I’m far from lonely

And it’s all that I’ve got.

Fifteen Signs Your Best Friend is the Ultimate Best

There is no perfect way to be a friend. I know because I admit that I am not the most perfect friend, and I may not be the most ideal best friend to anyone.

There are moments in my life when I feel like making friends with everyone I meet, but then I get hesitant about it in fear of not being able to deliver what is expected from me.

I have been thinking about it lately. This may be one of the things that happen when you are out of work for a while. You get to have more time to think of things that didn’t concern you before.

It’s important to have lots of friends, so you will never have to worry about missing out or not being able to keep track of your social life. However, sometimes it can be a bit frustrating, especially when you cannot really distinguish who your actual friends are, and who are just keeping you for their own social benefits. Not all your acquaintances are your friends, and not all the people you call your best friends actually see you the same way. It is something I have learned the hard way.

Let’s say you have a total of 150 personal friends. These friends are the ones you met at the playground when you were younger, in school when you were studying, at work or anywhere in the globe. These are the people you have had actual human interactions with.

Let’s say you have a total of 4,000 Facebook friends, and 11,000 Instagram and Twitter followers. Ten of these people are the ones you consider your best friends, including your mom and dad.

You have the fluctuating amount of people that will ensure you a lifetime of social interaction. Out of the thousands of people you have in your life, there are only three to five people (your family not included) who treat you a bit more differently than an ordinary friend does. These people are your best friends, and it is very important that you recognize these people for keeping you on the loop.

I have to say I am very thankful that I am blessed with the bestest best friends ever. I’ve had so many people I’ve considered my best friends before but things don’t always work out, and it’s alright. Things like that happen because they let us learn and they lead us to the right path.

Fifteen Signs Your Best Friend is Actually the Ultimate Best

01 You have an extraordinary cerebrum connection.

With just one look, you already know what each of you is thinking. So many times you even say the same exact words at the same time because it seems as though your brains are connected.

02 S/he knows what you like and dislike without you having to say it.

S/he pays attention to everything you do and say, and you won’t even notice it. S/he takes mental notes of it, and remembers the things that you like and dislike.

03 S/he understands your mood swings.

Everyone has mood swings, regardless of gender. Your ultimate best friend will understand when you suddenly or randomly lash out at him/her for no reason. S/he knows when you’re just having a bad day, and s/he tries to make you feel better by distracting you and making you forget of what has been causing your moodiness.

04 S/he is as crazy as you.

If you have sporadic mood swings, s/he does, too. And just like him/her, you understand it. Sometimes s/he does and makes you do crazy things, and vice versa. It’s both his/her and your craziness that connects the two of you.

05 S/he constantly annoys you.

Your ultimate best friend is imperfect. S/he doesn’t always make you smile. Sometimes s/he also annoys and bugs you. As his/her ultimate best friend, this doesn’t really bother you at all. Even when s/he keeps distracting you or teasing you at times you don’t need it, you still smile because you know that s/he is just vying for your attention.

06 S/he could be a bit childish.

Even a mature person could be a little bit childish sometimes. When s/he feels like you are starting to forget his/her existence, s/he pretends to throw a fit and makes you feel bad for not giving him/her attention.

07 S/he pretends to be high maintenance, but s/he actually isn’t.

Sometimes s/he makes you feel like s/he is being high maintenance, but she actually isn’t. S/he knows that if you really see him/her as your best friend, s/he doesn’t need to be high maintenance. S/he doesn’t need to be constantly talking to you because s/he knows that you have other priorities, and s/he does, too.

08 S/he cares a lot about you, and knows when something is wrong.

Even when you’re not saying it, s/he could feel when something is wrong. S/he knows you very well that s/he could easily detect when something is disturbing you, or when you don’t feel okay. S/he would annoyingly ask you about it, and won’t stop until you say it.

09 S/he knows when to stay and when to leave you alone.

S/he understands that you need some space sometimes, and so s/he gives you time to think and reflect on your own. However, s/he also knows when to stay even when you insist on being alone. Sometimes s/he knows that when you ask him/her to go, you actually want him/her to stay.

10 S/he doesn’t give up on you.

No matter how many times you put him/her off, and no matter how hard you try to push him/her away, s/he still stays with you and doesn’t leave you behind. S/he knows and understands that sometimes you get depressed and anxious, and all you really need is someone who will never give up on you.

11 S/he doesn’t get insecure, and she doesn’t compete with you.

S/he knows that you and him/her have special characteristics, skills and abilities. S/he doesn’t get insecure or jealous of you, because s/he also knows s/he is special. S/he never tries to compete with you. Maybe sometimes, but it is only so you could both laugh at how crazy you both are for thinking you could compete with each other. Sometimes you will find yourselves telling each other who is better, but end up saying that no one is better than the other, and that you’re actually better together.

12 S/he supports you, and is always proud of you.

Whatever happens, s/he makes it a point to always support you. S/he tells you how happy s/he is for you when something great happens. Sometimes s/he is too proud of you that s/he cannot help but tell the world how amazing you are.

13 S/he shares everything with you for as much as she could.

It could be food, bed and every little secret s/he has. Everything she has could be yours because s/he is confident that you would do the same for him/her. S/he trusts you, and s/he would share anything for as much as s/he has it.

14 S/he sees the best in you.

At times you don’t see anything good about yourself, s/he is there to let you know how amazing you are. S/he sees the best in you, and no matter how many times you feel low, s/he will never think negatively of you.

15 S/he loves you more than you will ever know.

Even when you’re far apart, s/he makes sure that you never forget how much s/he loves you. Even when you don’t talk to each other for a while because you are both busy, when you finally get to talk, it will feel like nothing has changed. The conversation you had last week or last month would feel like it was just yesterday. Sometimes s/he forgets to tell you s/he loves you because s/he’s only human, but you know that s/he does love you, and no words are needed for you to get reminded of it.

This list is pretty subjective, and I only base it on my own experience. Like I said, there is no perfect way to be a friend or a best friend. Your best friend may not have all of these signs, but it does not make them less of a friend. It also does not mean that your best friend is the only one who does these things. Friendship and any relationships is a two-way street, and it requires the people involve to have a reciprocating and harmonious connection.

So I also came up with this:

One Sign You Are the Ultimate Best Friend to Your Ultimate Best Friend

You subconsciously exhibit all of these signs.

A Letter To My Best Friends (Who Now Live From Afar)

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Hello to the most beautiful people in my life! 🙂

How’s life been for you? I hope everything has been great for all of you! I have a firm belief that it does! I haven’t heard from you in a while, and you have no idea how much I have been missing you. Nevertheless, I know that even when we don’t talk as much as we used to, we all still remember one another every day.

When I miss you, I just check your social media accounts, in short, I just stalk your profiles. 😀 I know you all have been very busy with school and work just like I do, but it makes me happy when I see your happy face in your photos. Despite the stress, I am happy that you all still find a way to smile, and I am glad that no matter how tired you are, you still find time to inspire others with your smile.

I will always wish for you to be happy, and I am glad that no matter what life throws at you, you still find a way to make things work. I am glad that you have incredible people around you who endlessly love and support you. I am glad that there are many of them filling a spot I can not take every day (bitterness aside :P).

However, sometimes I get so lonely. I miss you all so much. I am not glad about the constant longing I have for you. I wish we didn’t have to live so far from each other, so I could always be physically there for you when you need someone to talk to and when I also need a hug from each of you. I wish we could just easily run to each other, do things we both love and other random things.

We all meet other people in our life, and we learn to move on as time progresses. I have met and known so many incredible people as well, and I am so happy to have them in my life. I am just so happy that we still have each other all throughout.

Thank you for always trying your best to be here for me when I need you. I know that if I just send you one message asking for attention, you’d immediately be here for me no matter how busy you are. And in return, I will always be here for you as well. I will always do my best to give you a shoulder to lean on and help you in everything for as much and as long as I can.

Thank you for understanding my moody behavior and for loving even the dark side of me. Thank you for not giving up on me whenever I give you attitude or whenever I try to be high-maintenance. Thank you for not being too much like me.

This morning, I woke up to a realization that when you’ve been friends with some people for a long, long time and you’ve come to love one another truthfully, genuinely, honestly and without any doubts and judgments, no matter where each of you are, you will always be best friends and sisters by heart.

I want you all to know that even when we haven’t spoken to one another in a while, I do carry each and everyone of you in my heart. I am always proud of you, and always thankful that I have you in my life. I miss you terribly, and I love you always.

Your best friend 🙂

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That Best Friend Who Never Gives Up

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To my best friend who woke me up with this sketch she made for me:

We have been very busy recently, but you never fail to surprise me. You have no idea how much happiness you have caused me when I saw this picture. I have been at my lowest state these past few days, and even when we’re five thousand miles apart, you still make sure you’re here for me (virtually).

I have been having crappy days, and you always know when I need you. It’s like you can detect my sadness even when I don’t tell you. I hope you’re keeping this sketch you made for me because I’ll be asking for it when we meet again. I am very proud of you, and I miss and love you terribly.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for staying with me even at times I am pushing you away.

Thank you for being so understanding, and for forgiving me every time I make you feel like I am neglecting our friendship.

Thank you for always being a sister, and for not judging me based on my actions and my behavior.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

I will try my best to be better for you.

I love you always and forever.

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What she said that melted my heart:

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Here’s the photo of mine that she copied:

I love how passionate she is with her paintings.

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Isn’t she great? She is better at art than I am, but I’ve always been so proud of her. ❤

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One of my favorite piece she made.

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All Over The Place

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He said, “Write anything under the sun. Write about your hopes and dreams.” I said, “I do. I always write about you.” 

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I thought about the stubble on your face

And the freckles on your shoulders

I thought about how heavenly it would be to be in your arms

And how achingly beautiful it would be to trace your back with my fingertips

I thought about how one plus one would be equal to you and me;

And how we would always be together unlike A and Z

I thought about what your lips would taste like

And how your hands would fit in mine

I thought about how I would forget what words are when you’d look at me

And how the sound of your voice in the morning would send shiver down my spine

I thought about how algorithm would never seem to work for the both of us

And how forensic science could never solve the downfall of our chemistry

I thought about how you would own me the very first time you would lay your eyes on me

And how my body would no longer be mine but yours to keep

I thought about how it would not always rainbows and butterflies with you

But also daggers and poison killing us bit by bit

I thought about how much pain you would cause me

And how I would still love every inch of you

I thought about how my thoughts would slowly swallow my entire soul because

My thoughts would be all about you

They have always been all about you

and right now

They are all over the place.

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Don’t Worry.

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Right after I published my latest post about power clinging last night, I felt the sudden urge of loneliness and hatred rushing through my veins. I remained static in my seat as I felt my heart suddenly break into pieces. I was okay. I was happy and content while writing.

But I’ve always had problems keeping my emotions and thoughts in check.

I am not emotionally healthy.

I am not mentally fit.

“You are smart, and you are strong.”

I told myself many times as I tried to calm myself down.

“You are not okay. You have to let it all out.”

My mind told me so. And so I clenched my fists until my fingernails brought a searing but satisfying pain into my palms. I knocked the wall next to me three times. I stood up and walked out. I went to see my friends who were practicing their dance at that time — a dance that I taught them. I was supposed to guide them and dance with them.

But everything seemed so wrong.

Something was wrong, and it was making me feel uneasy.

I sat down watching them. They all looked so happy. I felt my heart harden, refusing to feel anything at all.

I decided to walk out again.

What was wrong with me, you might ask.

Nothing.

Nothing was wrong.

Everything was okay.

Everything is okay.

This has been my problem ever since I was young.

I am not emotionally healthy.

I am not mentally fit.

But you know what? I try. I try to be better. And honestly? I am becoming better at dealing with my fleeting emotions and racing thoughts now more than I ever did before.

Right now, I still don’t feel okay.

But I will be. Don’t worry. And don’t say anything stupid to me. 🙂

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Still Here

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Today, you asked me where I had been. You screamed at me and accused me of not being there for you when you needed me. I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to tell you…I wanted to say…that I had always been here. I had always been here, waiting for you. Hoping for this day when you had finally seen and noticed me. And although the way you saw me today wasn’t what I wished for, at least you had finally recognized my presence without looking for someone else.

I had always been here.

And…

I am still here.

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What Kind of Love Do We Really Want?

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We want a love that consumes us more than a love that makes us feel comfortable and secured.

— I actually just commented this on my darling Jayde’s latest post. As I wrote this to her, it also felt like I was talking to myself. The two of us, Jayde and I, besides being the bestest of friends and having the same qualities and desires in life, we are also experiencing the same thing with our romantic relationship. Despite that, we both know that we can get through this. We have each other, and we help each other get back on our feet. ❤

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, JAYDE.

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Friendship: A Ten Year Old’s Perspective

A very important advice from one of my students about friendship today:

There has many prendship’s lur (*friendship’s rule):

1. Lespect each other (*respect each other)

2. Understanding each other (understand each other)

3. Do not sherpishy each other (do not be *selfish)

4. Listening to each other (*listen to each other)

5. Shering, kerring and herping each other (*share, care for and help each other)

6. Don’t tork behind the one’s back each other ( do not *talk behind each other’s back)

I hope you all get what he was trying to say. He’s very young and he’s just starting to learn English. He’s still bulol (a Tagalog word used to describe someone with defective speech). His sentences are disorganized and funny, but his vocabulary is good and everything he said makes a lot of sense.

What do you think?

Guardian Angel (Senryu Installations)

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How lovely is it

to have a friend just like you.

You will never know

You are the sunshine

that gives my heart warmth and joy

You are my lucky charm

If one day you leave

Know that I would always wait

for you to come back

You make me better

You are my guardian angel

You will never know

That you will always

be the person who gives me

a reason to smile.

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I Loved Him

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In my younger years, there was this person, and I loved him. It was great, yet it was short lived. It was the kind of love that kept me awake all night long. It was full of fantasies and whimsical ambitions. It was something that old people would consider shallow and pretentious, yet something that would teach us about life.

When I try to go back and relive the memories, I realize how badly I have treated that person who once made me smile. I wasn’t his first, but he was mine, and I thought I could love him the same way forever.

I have reached that point in my life when I started considering that person I loved for the first time as the one that got away. I loved him. I am sure of that. Yet, my love for him was not enough. It was not the kind of love that would move mountains, nor the kind of love that would make me cross oceans. It was the kind of love that made me seize the day and enjoyed everything while it lasted.

Letting him go was very easy for me. I already knew back then that he deserved someone better. I loved him, but I knew that I wasn’t the one for him…that no matter how many times he tried to tell me that we were meant to be, it would never work out the way he thought it would.

I loved him, and I let him go. But, this doesn’t mean I regret anything. I no longer feel the same love I had for him now, because there is already someone filling up the space he used to have in my heart. In fact, this person fills up the space that is bigger than the one he had. Despite all these, I would always carry a piece of his memory at the back of my mind, and I would never forget that once in my life, I loved him.HorizontalBar_2

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Dream

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I dreamed of a brighter day

but it didn’t last

I also craved for the dark

Because in it I found solace

I dreamed of rainbow colors

but black and white

made my life way better

and opened me more doors

I dreamed of milk chocolates

but it was too sweet

and I am bitter

So I asked for tight corsets

I dreamed of a pink cotton candy

but it was too cute and fluffy

which was not the one I needed

not unless it was a bottle of brandy

I dreamed of life-sized teddy bears

because they do not die

they do not wither

like a bouquet of flowers

I have never truly dreamed

of anything real besides him

because he was the dream

that came true without me wishing.

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Appreciation

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You may have not noticed

the way my eyes light up

with adoration

when you smile

You may have not felt

the way you touch my heart

the second

you produce a sound

I am sure you haven’t

and you will never have

unless I make it apparent

but one day,

I know

you will no longer be around

and I don’t want to wait

until that day to tell you

that I appreciate

every inch of you.

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