Open Letter: To You Who Love Me When I Couldn’t Love Myself

“To become whole is to love all of our parts.”

— Mark Groves

For the longest time, I have been wondering why I seem to have constantly been asking for reciprocated love and attention from those who are close to my heart. 

I have never fully understood until I’ve realized that I actually lack love for myself. I have always been that person who would tell other people to always be strong and to always choose theirselves first, but in reality, I unconsciously disobey my own words. 

To other people, I am just that brave and bubbly little girl who doesn’t care about the world, but to those I allow to see the real me, I am that woman who has been struggling to love herself for a long, long time but is willing to change her view of herself for her own good. I know my worth and I am aware that myself is my own enemy. I’m not going to stop seeking for love and attention from the people I love but I am going to start loving myself more. 

And all of these, I have realized because of you.

I can never measure how grateful I am for having you in my life. You have always been good for my soul since the very start, and that’s something I am really thankful for. You have never really left me, and although you are not physically here right now, it still feels like you are around, and that you have always been here all along.

You make me the happiest person in the world every time you give me your attention. I have never had anyone who actually paid enough attention on me before, and all of these emotions I am feeling now are still unfamilar to me.

I never knew how happy I could be to have someone like you in my life. I have never felt so much love and care before. No one has ever expressed any concern for me besides my family, and I am afraid that all of these good and positive emotions I have overwhelm me.

I am overwhelmed because I have never truly experienced these in the past. You are the first person who has actually accepted me for who I am. And now that you have seen even the darkest side of me, I am hoping that you will still love every part of me, and that no matter what happens, you will still be patient enough to put up with me.

I never want to doubt your intention. I want to trust you, and I am slowly  learning to. Many people have ruined my trust before, and even though I try to think positively about you all the time, I still have those moments when I think about just leaving you. I could never imagine leaving you, but I am also scared of being left behind.

I hope that you will never get tired of me, even at times when I annoy you so much. It is true when people say that the only enemy you have is yourself. I have been constantly battling with myself and I am doing my best to fight for you. My mind always tells me to just give up on myself, but my heart would always contradict and convince me to still go on, and that is also because of you.

You keep me holding on. You inspire me to be a better person. You bring light into my soul, and for that, I am massively thankful.

I am now able to appreciate myself the same way I appreciate you. I have to admit I still fail to see the good side of me at times, but I strive to always keep a positive mind. Thank you for being with me. I will never stop reminding you how much I appreciate everything you do, and I just hope you will never get tired hearing me say it.

Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t love myself, and I will do my best to learn until I love myself as much as I love you.

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Open Letter: To Anyone Battling Anxiety Alone

I thought that if you just try to ignore everything that makes you feel anxious, worried and nostalgic…if you just keep thinking that everything is going to be fine…if you just keep reminding yourself how strong and brave you are, and that you can get through any hardships alone, your life will eventually be easier and better…but damn it, it doesn’t always get better when you force yourself to not feel something. The more you ignore a feeling that always comes back, the more you think about it and you will forever live with it like a troubled ghost that will never stay away.

You may have been having countless sleepless nights trying to think of a better way to let go of things, to let go of your anxieties and all the things that trigger them. It may be rather insensitive to plan out how you could forget the people you love or used to love and care about, but I know you feel as though it is the best solution especially when they are the reasons you feel stuck and not progressing.

When something doesn’t make you feel happy anymore, it’s just normal to seek for another thing that would make you feel happier or something that would bring back the happiness in your daily life. However, it is never a good thing to force yourself in a situation that constantly brings you down.

Battling your anxieties alone is the most difficult thing to do. You feel like no one understands you and that no one will ever actually listen to you when you share everything that troubles you. It is scary to trust people with your thoughts and what is even more scary is the thought that the people you trust and the people you expect to love you are the ones who are not scared to hurt and disappoint you.

So if you have to let go, let go, but you have to make sure it will make you happy in the end. Don’t ever force yourself to feel something you don’t actually feel. Don’t pretend you are not sad or lonely. Don’t hide your anger and disappointment. Don’t fake your happiness.

You deserve an eternal happiness. You deserve psychological stability. You deserve to have peace of mind.

Speak up. Express your thoughts. Express your feelings. But don’t force yourself to open up to just anyone who tells you you can trust them. Trust is being earned, and not presumed.

Open Letter: Dear Mr. Independent

You consider yourself independent because you can support yourself and you do not seek any kinds of assistance from others. You have a stable high-paying job, and you have enough, if not overflowing amount of money to provide you a lifetime of luxury. In fact, you may even have your own company where you pay others to work for you.

Of course, it is just expected that when it comes to finding a potential partner, you try your best to find that person who is exactly the same as you are, someone we also call Miss Independent.

You have to remember that although she could be the same as you, she is actually different. She may make enough money for herself, so she wouldn’t have to depend from others financially. She does things on her own and she lives away from her family. She is hardworking. She would rather starve working than have someone feeding her for free. She could be poor, but she has enough and that’s all that matters to her.

Of course, just because she chooses to stay somewhere that only gives her enough to feed herself, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have other dreams in life. She knows she shouldn’t settle for less, but she also believes in being happy with a job. She believes in learning and growing while passionately working.

You also have to know and remember that she is not a charity case. Maybe she lacks a lot of luxurious things in life, but it doesn’t mean that just because she doesn’t have something, she cannot afford it. She can buy things when she needs it, not just when she wants it. And sometimes she would rather spend her money on other people than spend it for herself.

She knows which things and people to prioritize. Miss Independent has a firm belief that in order to survive being independent, she has to keep in mind that she only has to focus on what she needs. She knows that once she gives in to her wants, she wouldn’t be able to control herself. She believes that if she wants something, she has to work for it, and she doesn’t want to waste anything she has worked hard for.

She will try to outsmart anyone who threatens her independence. She will try to avoid people whom she thinks will make her feel frustrated and vulnerable. She will try to avoid getting attracted to people like you.

In the end, if you try hard to get her attention, she will slowly start loving you and she will give her everything to you — her heart, her mind, her body and her soul. Although she is independent in other aspects of her life, you will find out that she is actually not emotionally independent. She will try to hide it from you or from anyone, but you will find it out.

She will tell you how she feels but she will not repeat herself. Please, don’t make her repeat herself. She knows when she is not being appreciated and recognized, which is why she could get easily upset. She would never tell you what she is upset about, so you have to know it’s related to her feelings somehow.

Miss Independent likes to repress her feelings and desires to avoid coming out as a weak person to you. She wants you to know she is strong and brave. She wants you to know she can live without you even when she can’t.

Because of that Mr. Independent, I hope that you could still be her rock even when she thinks she can stand on her own feet. I hope you could still be her strength, inspire and motivate her, understand her and be patient with her and love her without judgment.

You see, Mr. Independent, you are exactly the same independent people, but you actually are different from each other. You can be both physically and emotionally independent, while she may only possess half of the equation.

Being independent does not mean you do not need anyone in your life. We all need someone who will remind us how strong we are, someone who will love us unconditionally, someone who is willing to be there even when we think we don’t need them.

And sometimes, we just need someone who can make us feel vulnerable and weak, so we’d remember that we’re actually humans.

Open Letter: Just Let Them Go

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How many times have you blamed yourself for whatever happened to people you used to care about? Has this helped you feel better in any way? I sure am not. Hence, instead of constantly blaming yourself for a failed relationship or friendship, it would be better for you to just let go. Let go of people. Let go of yourself. Let go of your feelings. But when do you know it is time to let go and which people do you need to disassociate yourself with?

WHO TO LET GO

01 That person who ONLY talks to you when s/he needs something from you.

Sometimes you meet someone and at first, things go really well between the two of you…until you notice that you have started talking to each other less and less. And one day, this person comes to you and asks you for help. Of course, being the good person that you are, you will help him/her, and s/he goes on with his/her life once again.

02 That person who only talks about himself/herself.

This person does not ask about you after you ask her how his/her day has been. This is the person who does not ask for your opinion or reaction right after s/he shares his/hers and would go on talking until s/he can’t say anything anymore.

03 That person who only listens so s/he could talk, or that friend who doesn’t listen at all.

Yes, s/he listens to you, but only because s/he wants to say something about it. Sometimes, s/he even pretends to listen and becomes impatient and hurry you up, so s/he could finally share his/her thoughts.

04 That person who only sees you as a rebound friend, manipulates you and guilt-trips you.

S/he only knows you when his/her other friends are not around,and s/he tries to manipulate you to get what s/he wants. S/he constantly asks for your attention when  no one is giving it to him/her, and would guilt-trip you when s/he is not getting anything from you.

05 That person who only remembers you during the bad times.

I mean…it is very nice to think that someone remembers you during their bad days, but if they are only there with you because they know you would help them feel better, is that still a good thing? Definitely not. This person would surely forget you exist once their bad days are over.

06 That person who only sees your bad qualities and does not recognize the good things you have done.

There are people who always see the best in you, while there are also some who only remember you for your bad qualities. Everyone has their own dark side, but if a person only sees the bad in you, and does not recognize that you also have good qualities, then you will just spend your life trying to figure out why this person does not see you the way others do.

07 That person whose behavior changes according to people s/he is with.

We cannot avoid meeting and interacting with someone whose behavioral acts differ according to the people they are with. One time, they are so good around you, and the next time they are with another group of people, they change, and they treat you a bit differently.

08 That person who forgets to invite you.

There is nothing more painful than not being invited to a party, an outing, an event or even to dinner by someone you expect to be your friend. It makes you feel like you are just an option and your presence does notreally matter that much.

09 That person who doesn’t bother to call when you are sick or when you are in a terrible situation.

This person wouldn’t dare to call because s/he doesn’t care whether or not you are coping up well or not.

10 That person who does not care whether or not you let go of him/her.

It is hard to accept, but there are people who do not see our importance in their lives. If you do not matter to someone, then s/he wouldn’t care whether or not you stay or leave.

At first, you will of course try your best to work things out, but if it doesn’t work out and you’re the only one trying to make an effort, then have a little respect for yourself and open your eyes to the fact that it is not going to work out anymore.

Letting go of these kinds of people are sometimes the best thing one can do. It may make you look selfish and insensitive, but you have to remember that before you have to offer your love and trust to people, you have to trust and love youself first. You have to focus on what makes you happy, and remember not to give everything, as it may just cause you pain in the long run.

Don’t ever blame yourself for a failed relationship. Don’t be so hard on yourself. People come and go, and it isn’t your fault. Sometimes people have to leave because it is for the best.

When your relationship or your friendship is no longer growing, but is slowly going down the drain instead, and you can no longer do anything to work it out, letting go is sometimes the better option than staying and letting the relationship ruin each of you.

When you decide to let go of the people that once meant so much to you, sometimes you won’t help but feel guilty. You feel guilty for letting things get in the way. You’d also probably feel like a loser because you are choosing to give up.

But no…giving up doesn’t always make you a loser. It makes you a winner because you have the courage and strength to let go of something that was very important to you, but doesn’t see your importance.

You have to remember that you are one special piece of snowflake, and you, just like everyone else, deserve better.

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Open Letter to the One I Fought For: She Was Wrong About Us

Four months ago, somebody told me I will never be happy and content with my life if I don’t change, and that I will never be able to find anyone who will love me for what and who I am. Somebody told me I am not mature enough, and that I need to grow up and learn to love myself first before I offer my love to someone else.

Nobody told me that you were gonna come and prove that person how wrong it was to judge me like that. You came into the picture, and I never stopped smiling since then.

Up until now, you try your best to make me happy. I know that it frustrates you sometimes as I have sporadic moodiness, yet you never give up.

You make me feel better about myself. You help me grow, and you boost my confidence in a really good way.

For the first time in my life, I am content, and I couldn’t ask for more. You are giving me your love while I am still trying to learn how to love myself.

I can no longer count the many times you have to put up with my complicated attitude. You know I could be handful, but you still see the best in me.

For all these things you do for me, I am truly grateful. I must have done something great in my past life that is making me worthy of having you in my life.

I appreciate every little thing you do — all the forehead kisses, the small talks and the deep conversations, when you let me sleep on your arm, when you put your hands on my back, when you listen to me talk about what bothers me or what makes me anxious, for tolerating my dramatic moments and for knowing when to call me out.

Thank you.
Thank you for making me happy.
Thank you for inspiring me and for motivating me every day.
Thank you for being my light.
I can never be more proud of you.

If I ever come across that somebody who has made me feel bad about myself, I’d be so happy to tell her how wrong she was in so many levels.

She was wrong when she said that I have problems when it comes to choosing the people who I let into my life. Maybe I did when I let her affect and influence me.

She was wrong when she made it sound like it was not a good thing to make friends with people I am not sure I will ever have a chance to meet. Making friends is not just about trying to meet them in person. Making friends is about connection. It is about being able to relate to one another without the need to actually physically be together.

She was wrong when she said I am selfish and I only think about myself. Maybe I am selfish, but only to people who do not deserve my selflessness. Maybe I only think about myself, but why not? I have to learn how to love myself first to be able to love others, didn’t she say that?

She was wrong when she thought I can never be fully content in a relationship because I am still immature. My level of maturity does not measure my contentment. I have to admit I am not fully grown up yet. I am still in my early twenties, and I still have so many things to learn. Why am I being judged for that?

She was wrong in so many ways, and it is really funny how the people who judge us are the ones who barely know anything about us.

She was wrong when she said you were going to break my heart. She said you were not going to last long. She was wrong, and I am grateful because you turned out to be the right one…the right one for me.

And once again, I am very thankful we have found each other. I am very grateful for having you in my life and for not letting her keep me from finding out how amazing you truly are. Thank you for coming, and for helping me realize that toxic people like her actually exist and the best thing we can do is to avoid them.

Thank you for instilling peace and optimism in my heart, mind and soul, for helping me see the light, and for making me realize that sometimes we need someone like her so we could learn how to be extra cautious when meeting people.

Thank you because now, I have the courage to tell everyone how wrong she was about me, about you…about us.

The least thing we need in our lives are people who overanalyze every thing we do and easily misjudge who we are. Now I understand why we have to stay away from people who make us feel bad about ourselves.

Never let a single person dictate who we are because there are other people out there who continuously believe in us. We, ourselves, are the ones who define who we really are.

What I Learned From Five Years of Trial and Error

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Note: This is a revised edition of an older post. Please do not read if you hate labeling/naming people. Also, I am not a dating expert nor am I well-experienced, so just enjoy this post.

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The way I see it, life gets too complicated sometimes because we undergo so many stages and changes while growing up. And in each stage we go through, we experience trial and error in so many ways, especially in terms of our relationships with our family, friends and special loved ones.

I had been single for five years before I got in my previous relationship, but I did go out with some people within those years. It was more of a choice. I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet. Despite that, I spent some of my time trying to get to know people. While meeting and getting to know those people, I have realized how different they all were, yet they all had one thing in common. They were all nice, but they weren’t the one I imagined to share portions (if not the rest) of my life with. 

Within years of dating, I have learned a lot of things and it changed my perspective in life a bit. They say we spend most of our life doing important things like studying, working, taking care of our family and friends, and making our life better in general, while some of it is spent finding the right person we want to share the rest of our life with.

Here are some of the people I got to know (note: I don’t really like labeling people but I’d like to be specific with their description) and learned a lot from…

The Stalker

I met this guy in high school and we were actually recognized by people as a ‘couple.’ Well, unfortunately, we actually weren’t…at least that was what I thought. He thought, on the other hand, that the moment I said “yes, we can have coffee together,” it already meant “yes, I would love to be your girlfriend.” This is the person I kind of felt bad for because he actually introduced me to his parents and his parents thought we were serious. Well, he was serious to the point of stalking me not only physically, but also virtually. He knew everything about me. What I did, who I talked to or where I went. He still follows me until now even when he himself is already in a committed relationship with a great and beautiful woman, who I happened to know.

The Wo-Man

I went out with this guy next, and he was a really good person. He was very nice but everyone thought he was gay. He was more feminine than I was at that time. He would always carry a bottle of loose face powder and he would always smell like a baby, which I found really amusing. His voice was also too soft. He was a real GENTLEman, and I really liked him. I was, however, worried he would ask for my makeup in the future, and although that sounds fun, I would still prefer someone who wouldn’t use up all of my beauty products. Haha!

The Narcissistic

Honestly, I am not good at receiving compliments. I also suck at giving the people I like good compliments. I always end up screwing things. But then I met this guy who was also very nice, yet asked for my compliments all the time. He would always throw beautiful words at me just so I could tell him how good looking he was. He wanted me to do that almost all the time. He would send me photos every time, and he would wait for me to give him compliments. When I didn’t, he wouldn’t talk to me for days. How great was that?

The Patriarch

This guy had the same qualities as The Narcissistic. He also liked being complimented although I could feel a bit of insecurity in him. Wait. Scratch that. He was actually very insecure that was why he liked it when I gave him compliments. He had always felt so threatened by my personality, and he would call me out when he thought I was trying to intimidate him. He wanted to be the one who would always be pleased, and not the one who would always please. He hated doing things for me because he thought that I should be the one doing things for him.

The Ghost

I don’t think I still need to explain this one, but yes. This guy liked to appear and then disappear all of a sudden. One day, he would show up and ask me to have dinner with him. The next day, he would be gone. Months after, he would show up again and then gone again…for good.

The Baby

This guy just wanted to find out if I was physically blessed enough or not. Apparently, he thought he was still a baby who needed to be breast fed.

The Manipulative

This was the guy who would always call me manipulative when we fought, so he could gaslight and guilt trip me. He would tell me I did things when in fact, I barely did anything. He liked to manipulate. He made me upset about things I didn’t do, so I could do other things for him.

The PSYCHOlogist

This guy actually studied Psychology, but man was he a psycho, too. He would always try to analyze both of my verbal and non-verbal action, and he would always give me advice. His advice was actually a bit helpful, especially when I was at my lowest and I didn’t know what to do. I said he was a psycho because when things didn’t work out for the both of us, he threatened me he would post pictures of me on the Internet. So until now, I have been waiting for my nudes to leak online. I wonder when I’d be famous for it. He’s taking such a long timeeeeeee.

(Of course I am kidding. I never sent nudes. I’ve only sent him selfies. Haha)

The Depressed

I really liked this guy. He was very compassionate. Yet, he was depressed all the time. He would easily get upset about random things and when he did, he would not talk to me for days. He would tell me about it though, unlike the guy who just appeared and disappeared for months.

If you have noticed, I focused on their specific weak/negative points more than their good ones. Apparently, things didn’t work out for me and each of these guys. Although I had also seen good qualities in them, they were just not the right ones for me. They all possessed qualities I didn’t like more than the things I liked. 

After seeing these guys, I have formed an image of my ideal person in my mind. I wanted someone who was like this or someone who was like that and so many other things. I said I wanted someone who doesn’t possess all of those qualities I just enumerated above.

But do you know what I realized? I learned that when you actually fall for someone, you wouldn’t know it immediately. You wouldn’t know that you are subconsciously liking him/her already and you would suddenly forget about all the standards you have set. What you look for an ideal partner wouldn’t matter anymore because the person you fall in love with will suddenly be your ideal person by default.

Slowly and surely, all the characteristics the person you love has will be the ideal characteristics you want to see in your ideal partner. You learn to accept who this person is and love him/her without judgment.

I never liked brown eyes before. I never liked men older than I am. I never liked guys who make me feel uncomfortable and make me go out of my comfort zone. I never liked a partner with a very strong personality. I never liked men who talk about finance, material and monetary value and popularity before.

But now, I do. I have started learning to like the things I never liked before.

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A Letter to Myself and to Everyone Out There

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Dear you!

You are my lover, my friend, my family. You are myself, and you are my everything. When everyone else leaves, you are all I have left.

It breaks my heart to see how much you have been struggling with work and your relationship with people lately. I know how hard it could be to be in your shoes, and what gives me more pain is the fact that you think no one can be there for you when you need someone to talk to; and it is sad to know how often you give in to your anxiety every single time..

But this I say to you…

You will be okay.

I believe in your abilities to make yourself feel better on your own. You have lived through the years and you get by every day. I know sometimes you feel like ending all of your problems permanently, but you still choose to live and to love yourself every single day. That is just one proof of how strong you are.

You are strong. You will get through anything.

I know you often think no one will ever love you truthfully. I beg to disagree. Even right from the start, you already have many people adoring and loving you even from afar. I know you think that you would rather be alone than having people around you make you feel isolated.

Do not be scared to burn bridges. Do not be afraid of letting people go. Not everyone you love actually deserves your love; and no matter what negative things they say about you, I want you to stand your ground, and always think of your happiness first. You are allowed to give up on others just as long as you do not give up on yourself.

Do not settle for anyone who makes you question your morals, your values, especially your worth. You know your worth, and you know what makes you genuinely happy. Do not ever compromise your worth and happiness for anyone.

I know, for sure, that one day, someone will come along. S/he will make you feel the love you have been longing to have all over again. Don’t ever hold yourself back the way you did before. Just because you have failed in love so many times in the past doesn’t mean you can never allow yourself to fall again. Just because you have been hurt doesn’t mean you will experience the same exact pain you had.

I want you to never let anyone, not even the people you love the most, affect you so much that you lose control of yourself. Do not let people, the Church and the entire society dictate who you are and who you should be. You have lived without asking major help from anyone because you have always been responsible for yourself. You know what is right and what is wrong.

I know that you commit mistakes and that is inevitable. You are just a human, after all. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop feeling like all you do is wrong. Remember the lessons you always learn from committing your mistakes, and never regret the things you actually wanted to do.

I want you to always fight for what you think is right. Never complain without figuring out whether or not you are in the right position to do so. I want you to open your heart and listen to the people around you without immediately judging them. I want you to be critical all the time without taking away other people’s rights to defend themselves.

I want you to keep being strong, to keep living, to keep doing what you love to do. You are still young, and there are still lots of good things out there waiting for you to notice.

I want you to smile. I want you to give love without asking it back. I want your heart to remain pure.

You will be okay.

You are strong. You will get through anything.

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A Letter To My Best Friends (Who Now Live From Afar)

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Hello to the most beautiful people in my life! 🙂

How’s life been for you? I hope everything has been great for all of you! I have a firm belief that it does! I haven’t heard from you in a while, and you have no idea how much I have been missing you. Nevertheless, I know that even when we don’t talk as much as we used to, we all still remember one another every day.

When I miss you, I just check your social media accounts, in short, I just stalk your profiles. 😀 I know you all have been very busy with school and work just like I do, but it makes me happy when I see your happy face in your photos. Despite the stress, I am happy that you all still find a way to smile, and I am glad that no matter how tired you are, you still find time to inspire others with your smile.

I will always wish for you to be happy, and I am glad that no matter what life throws at you, you still find a way to make things work. I am glad that you have incredible people around you who endlessly love and support you. I am glad that there are many of them filling a spot I can not take every day (bitterness aside :P).

However, sometimes I get so lonely. I miss you all so much. I am not glad about the constant longing I have for you. I wish we didn’t have to live so far from each other, so I could always be physically there for you when you need someone to talk to and when I also need a hug from each of you. I wish we could just easily run to each other, do things we both love and other random things.

We all meet other people in our life, and we learn to move on as time progresses. I have met and known so many incredible people as well, and I am so happy to have them in my life. I am just so happy that we still have each other all throughout.

Thank you for always trying your best to be here for me when I need you. I know that if I just send you one message asking for attention, you’d immediately be here for me no matter how busy you are. And in return, I will always be here for you as well. I will always do my best to give you a shoulder to lean on and help you in everything for as much and as long as I can.

Thank you for understanding my moody behavior and for loving even the dark side of me. Thank you for not giving up on me whenever I give you attitude or whenever I try to be high-maintenance. Thank you for not being too much like me.

This morning, I woke up to a realization that when you’ve been friends with some people for a long, long time and you’ve come to love one another truthfully, genuinely, honestly and without any doubts and judgments, no matter where each of you are, you will always be best friends and sisters by heart.

I want you all to know that even when we haven’t spoken to one another in a while, I do carry each and everyone of you in my heart. I am always proud of you, and always thankful that I have you in my life. I miss you terribly, and I love you always.

Your best friend 🙂

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Won’t Be Coming Back

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I love you, but I won’t be coming back.

Not today. Not tomorrow. Not anymore.

We no longer share each other’s values.

We don’t inspire each other to be the better version of ourselves.

Making each other smile is not our priority anymore.

We now doubt the possibility of us being together in the future.

We no longer love each other as much as we did before.

We don’t want each other anymore.

You love me, but I know you won’t be coming back.

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This piece is written especially for someone close to me. Darling, if you’re reading this, I know you’re as much stronger as you were before. You’ve been through a lot, and that means you’ll get through anything. 🙂 I’m not asking you to do what I do, or to be like me. I am asking you to stand your ground, and let go of what’s been constraining you. After all, we’re just humans and we live differently. ❤

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I Am Not The One For You

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I am not the one for you. You deserve someone better, someone who isn’t me. I know you still think that I will change my mind, and that you believe that one day, I will see right through your heart and realize that it is you whom I want to be with for the rest of my life. I know you still wait for that day when my heart starts beating for yours. I know you’re thinking that it is just the wrong time for me, and that the right time will come for both you and me to be together.

I am not the one for you. I am sorry, but I don’t think I am. You are an amazing person. I am sure you are aware of that. You can easily find someone new. Other women adore you. You’ve got the kindest and sweetest heart, and I know someone is more deserving to have it than I am.

I am not the one for you. I did not stop talking to you. I just can’t talk to you the whole day. I am not mad at you, and you should know that there is nothing about you that will ever make me mad. You never did anything wrong to me – except loving me. You can do better than that. You can love someone better than me.

I am not the one for you. I want you to be happy with someone else — someone who is willing to give you everything you want. Someone who can reciprocate you as strongly as you do. You deserve someone who doesn’t write you a letter like this, but a letter that will make your heart flutter and make you feel like you’re on cloud nine.

I am not the one for you. I want you to stop waiting for my reply. Stop calling me on my phone. I never use my phone that much anymore. Stop asking how I am, or if I have eaten at the right time, and telling me to drink more water. You are not a doctor, and you are not my mother.

I am not the one for you. I want to thank you for all the nice things you have done for me. Thank you for making me feel better about myself, and for trying to make me happy. If you really want me to be happy, you will let me be, just please release me so I can be free.

I am not the one for you. But if you still think I am, after reading this, then I will just let you be. I will release you, so you can be free.

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A Letter To The Other Woman Who Broke My Best Friend’s Heart

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Hello, girl. How has life been for you? You don’t know me, but I know you. I’ve heard lots of things about you. They may or may not be true, so I am not going to judge you.

I have seen pictures of you. I think you’re beautiful, just like all the other women I know. And I have been wondering how you could let things go out of hand. Are you happy? Are you happy that someone’s heart has been broken because the person you’re with chose you over her? Are you happy that someone out there, someone like you, couldn’t sleep at night because she was busy thinking of ways to forget the pain she has been feeling? Are you happy?

Are you content? Do you sleep peacefully at night knowing that what has happened to her may happen to you? Do you ever think that the person who you’re with now could also do to you what he has done to her?

Do you think you two are going to be happy together? Do you think you will be happy with him? Sure. I hope you will. I hope that he actually treats you better than he did to my best friend. I hope he doesn’t find someone he will cheat on you with. They say a cheater will always be a cheater. Maybe sometimes that isn’t true. But most of the time, it is.

I wish that what happened to my best friend will never happen to you. I hope that you will never have to experience the pain of being cheated on. And lastly, I wish that you will find eternal happiness with the person who broke her heart.

I wish you all the best.

Good luck!

x

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A Letter to A Cheater: What Cheating Really Means

25 Signs He's Cheating On You - How to Know If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating - Cosmopolitan:
(source)

HorizontalBar_2This is the second part of my first letter.


What does cheating really mean? I think it is pretty much subjective. But unfortunately, for some people (mostly the people who are very defensive of this act) believe so much in its objective meaning.

I have written something about cheating yesterday, and until now, I still haven’t recovered from it. The person I was referring to in my post, let us call her Maria, had become so defensive of it, and retaliated. She sent a message saying that she didn’t actually cheat on a very close friend of mine. She said, “I didn’t do anything intimate with her,” but she also told my friend she kissed the other girl she liked. She even defined the word “cheating” for us because she thought we needed it, and that we don’t understand its real meaning.

She said (This line was originally in Tag-lish):

“Can you define cheating? Because the last time I checked, I didn’t have any intimate acts with somebody”

Sounds familiar?

Well, we checked Urban Dictionary and it said that cheating is:

“When one person has a significant other and performs any type of intimate acts with another person.”

It is a pity that she had to copy one definition of the word just to defend herself, when there are also other definitions of the said word that justify her action. Well, I don’t really want to be that objective, but since she has started copying lines from unreliable sources, I feel like it is also a must that I list down the different definitions of the word “cheating” from more reliable sources:

Dictionary.com

verb (used with object)

: to defraud; swindle

: to deceive; influence by fraud

: to elude; deprive of something expected
noun
: a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds

verb

: to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something

: to take something from (someone) by lying or breaking a rule

: to prevent (someone) from having something that he or she deserves or was expecting to get

transitive verb

:  to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud
:  to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice
:  to elude or thwart by or as if by outwitting <cheat death>
verb
: Act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage
: Gain an advantage over or deprive of something by using unfair or deceitful methods; defraud
: Be sexually unfaithful (the only meaning of “cheating” for her hah!)
noun
: A person who behaves dishonestly in order to gain an advantage.
So, cheating is not just used to refer to someone who had intimate or sexually suggestive acts with another person. When I wrote my post yesterday, I didn’t claim that she was intimately involved with the person she cheated on my friend with. She pretended she didn’t like that person while she was with my friend, only to find out that she actually had strong feelings for the other person while she was still in a relationship.

Cheating means you are being dishonest or unfair to someone. It is a form of lying or keeping the truth. The next time you say something, make sure that your research is better than mine.

Good luck, Cheater.

x


Shout out to Urban Dictionary, Dictionary.com, Merriam-Webster and Oxford Dictionary. 😀
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A Letter To A Cheater

HorizontalBar_2The very first time I laid my eyes on you, I already knew you were bad news. You exuded a dark energy, and I was vigilant enough to notice it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t strong enough to convince my friend that you were not good for her. Who was I to tell her that? She thought she was happy with you. No. I take that back. She thought she would be happy with you. And because I love her, and I have always wanted her to be happy, I let her be with you. Unfortunately, she didn’t achieve the happiness she thought she would have. You had been holding her by the neck since the very first time you got together, and she was blind enough to see it.

You were right when you said, “there are two sides of the coin,” and the only side I knew was hers. I don’t know and I haven’t heard your side, but I don’t care. I don’t ever want to listen to someone like you.

She didn’t have to tell me all the things you did to her. I just knew it. I knew when she was happy, and when she was not. I knew when she was having a hard time dealing with you, and when she was just faking her smile.

I also knew that you didn’t like me. Who knew, maybe you even asked her to stop hanging out with me one time. If you did, shame on you, and I am glad she didn’t listen to you. I knew that you were always the reason why she couldn’t hang out with us more often. I knew that you stopped her from going out with anyone because you wanted to be always around her. I knew how insecure and clingy you were. I knew a lot of things without her telling me.

You used to tell her how much you loved her. You made her feel like you couldn’t live without her. Well, guess what? You didn’t really love her! You were attached to her, and you were scared that she would leave you alone, and be with someone better than you. You were terrified because you knew that someone was better, and that she could easily find someone who actually deserved her more.

And because you were so scared that one day, that would happen, you started looking for someone to replace her, while being with her. You started to find your next prospect, your next victim…someone that would instantly take her place when she decided to let go.

When you truly love someone, you don’t easily give up on that person. Even when that person is the one slowly starting to drift away, you still try to work things out.

But when she asked for some space, you already thought she had already forgotten you…that she didn’t want you anymore. You started thinking you were no longer together, so you acted as though you were already single. You continued wooing another person in replacement for her.

I am so amazed by how shallow you are. Do you even understand what a “cool off” means in a relationship? Even the best relationships need some time and space to make things a lot better.

You said that having someone to take her spot in your life is not called cheating. I hate to break it to you, but it is. It may be low-key cheating, but it is still cheating! Your audacity to be so defensive of your mistakes and to tell everyone that you didn’t cheat on her makes me cringe. You make me want to shit myself.

You laughed at other people for expressing their opinion about what you did. You mocked them about how immature they were for publicly shaming you for what you did. Why? Didn’t you deserve that? Did you also think how immature you were to publicly announce to your friends that you weren’t the culprit of all of these? That you had been silent for so long because you didn’t want to make things worse? Well, honey, you being silent just meant that you weren’t brave enough to face your demons. You didn’t have the balls to talk to her properly and professionally. (Hah! I keep forgetting you don’t really have actual balls. Oops. My bad.)

I am sorry, but hardcore liars and cheaters never admit that they lie and cheat. They will always try to defend themselves and make themselves appear as the “victim.” I know, because you are not the only cheater I unfortunately had a close encounter with. It is sad, but so many people like you proliferate this society, and the people who are on your side may have been like you, or have the tendency to be like you. What a pity.

You are weak. You are one of the weakest, most disgusting and lowest living creature who have ever existed. I am never a war freak. In fact, the last time I fought with someone was a decade ago. But this time, I am willing to put up a good fight for the people I love.

Don’t you ever try to be a heart breaker because you’re not. You will never be. I don’t see you as that kind of person. I see you as something worse than what a heart breaker is. She chose to be with you. She chose to stay because she was also scared to break your heart, but then you hurt her instead.

If you don’t change, I think that your misbehavior and misdeeds would wreak havoc to humanity. It’s not too late to change. We’re all praying for your redemption.

Good luck, cheater.

x

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