Beauty in Her Eyes

She looked at her dress

the way a little girl stared at a popsicle;

Amazed by its color and beauty, 

unaware of her own magnificence.

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Sometimes Always

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Sometimes I get you
Sometimes I don’t
So many times we’ve been in this cycle
and this cycle goes on forever

Sometimes you want me
Sometimes you don’t
Quite a lot of times you call me in the middle of the night
and ask me if I’m alright

Sometimes I hate you
Sometimes I don’t
But most of the time I long for your touch
and everything that you deprive me of

Sometimes you need me
Sometimes you don’t
So many times I like to go back
to when you crave for me the most

Sometimes I love you
Who am I kidding?
Darling, despite everything you put me through
You know I do, I always do.

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Senses XV: Good Night

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Getting love drunk in a dark room
The only source of light —
the one that came from the moon
A cup of bliss in my trembling hand
My legs still sore and burning
Aching for the love that only the Sun could offer
You stared at me, your light brown orbs melting my soul
Forcing my body into deep slumber
My heart thumping like it never did before
You mumbled and called my name
like it was the very first time you said it
making sure you would still be lying here with me in the morning
You said it like you loved me more than anything
Like you have said it so many times before

And it was a feeling like no other.

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Won’t Be Coming Back

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I love you, but I won’t be coming back.

Not today. Not tomorrow. Not anymore.

We no longer share each other’s values.

We don’t inspire each other to be the better version of ourselves.

Making each other smile is not our priority anymore.

We now doubt the possibility of us being together in the future.

We no longer love each other as much as we did before.

We don’t want each other anymore.

You love me, but I know you won’t be coming back.

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This piece is written especially for someone close to me. Darling, if you’re reading this, I know you’re as much stronger as you were before. You’ve been through a lot, and that means you’ll get through anything. 🙂 I’m not asking you to do what I do, or to be like me. I am asking you to stand your ground, and let go of what’s been constraining you. After all, we’re just humans and we live differently. ❤

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The Curse

I might think I can’t take it any more, that I can’t go on any more, but one way or another I get past that.  ~  Haruki Murakami.:
(source)

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You came at the time when
I thought I was ready to give my heart
to anyone who was willing
to claim it.

I thought you claimed it —
Maybe you did for a moment
but you gave it back
extremely bruised and broken.

I came at the time when
you thought you were prepared
to dance around the flames
of love and hatred.

I wrote down your name
Along with your untethered lies
Bitterness lingered on my lips
as I cursed these words painstakingly

You will never be truly ready.

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This Bed

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Here I go again

Lying alone on my side of this bed

Bright lights peeking through the window

I couldn’t open my eyes

No, I don’t want to open my eyes

I don’t want to see how you are not here beside me

I don’t want to know that another cold, long night has passed

and I still don’t wake up in the morning seeing your smile

or your beautiful green orbs staring at me while I melt in them

or your bare back with my arms around it

It has been nine thousand four hundred ninety-six hours

and I am still counting

I am still counting the hours and the days

until I see you here lying on your side of this bed

because this bed has been lonely

I wish I could say that it has been feeling that way lately

but lately would mean eternity

and it has been feeling empty

It needs to feel your warmth, your love

My love, this bed wants you to come home

I want you to come home

I beg you, please come home.

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In Case You Forget Her

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Do you still remember the very first time you laid eyes on her?

Do you still see the happiness on her face?

Do you still know how her skin felt like when you first touched it?

Does the sound of her voice still gets stuck in your head?

Just in case you forget her

Her eyes still glow like the moon on a starry night

The smile on her face still shines as bright as the sun

Her skin still feels like cotton falling on your shoulders in an Indian Summer

And her voice is like an ear worm of the best kind.

And this just proves that even when you don’t remember her

She gets by and she will never change.

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When Dawn Is Breaking

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I hate the sound of cranes next to my building,

and kettles filled with water that’s already boiling.

I hate the sound of the birds chirping

and my neighbors roosters’ crowing that means dawn’s finally breaking.

I hate the sound of the radio playing

and the carpenters next door busy hammering.

I hate the sound of the screen door banging

when each of my family starts to wake up  one by one in the morning.

I hate to think that while everyone is already busy working,

I am still here laying in bed, sleepless and overthinking.

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How To Spot A Heart Breaker

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A heart breaker is very well aware s/he is a heart breaker. In fact, s/he knows it too well yet s/he pretends s/he doesn’t.

A heart breaker could be that cute guy or that tiny little girl in your history class.

A heart breaker could be that sexy cheerleader or that hot athlete in your school varsity team.

A heart breaker could be your English teacher or your personal tutor.

A heart breaker could be your neighbor. He could be that guy you go to the Church with every Sunday morning or she could be the preacher’s daughter.

A heart breaker could either have an innocent looking or a resting bitch face. S/he could be very shy and introverted; or s/he could be too outgoing and likes to socialize.

A heart breaker could cook for you and promise you lots of good things; or s/he could buy you Chinese takeouts sometimes and texts you once a month.

A heart breaker could either take you to Starbucks or buy you a glass of frozen margarita. S/he could be your extremely uptight boss or your sizzling hot coworker.

A heart breaker could be anyone. S/he could be your friend.

Heart breakers could be everywhere.

Maybe you are even one of them!

You see? It’s actually hard to spot a heart breaker.

S/he could be writing poetry about you and you’d never know.

S/he could be a blogger. I am sorry, I really can’t tell.

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What If?

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Is letting go of someone important to you really worth it?
What if s/he’s important to you, but you aren’t important to him/her?
What if s/he values you a lot,
yet his/her pride and ego stops him/her from telling you so?
What if you don’t let go,
but s/he had already done it?
What if you let go?
What if you don’t?
Is it going to worth it?

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All These Feelings in a Cup of Coffee

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I need to clear my mind

I need something to calm my heart

My anger is raging

and my tears can’t stop from falling


I am starting to hate the people around me

dreading the air that I breathe

for it is the same air they get to sniff

like poison slowly making me weak


I am furious and I can’t help it

The veins in my temples are exploding bit by bit

Making me detest all of the work I have to commit

If I leave them now that would be a good plot twist


Anger and disappointment

are flowing in my veins

blending with my blood

and soon be ending and dwelling within my heart


I am not crying in pain

but I have so much anger in me

and I hate how it is slowly taking over my body

I think I just really need a cup of coffee

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Slow Down

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You twist and you turn
Like a rod in a keyhole
Deep, forced and unfit
You tease me
As you find bliss in my coyness
You toast
That burning desire in me
You thrust
And I feel you slow down a little
Like a knife
You cut right through me
And I could hear the phoenix crying somewhere
And the mandarin ducks have just stopped singing
A murder of crows are waiting
at the end of the line
They could hear you
They could hear us
Slow down, my love
It’s not yet time.

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Life Priorities

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Don’t tell me to get a life
because my life doesn’t revolve around you
You aren’t the center of my universe
You aren’t the moon to my sun
Nor the milky way to my galaxy
But you should know that
In my list of priorities,
You’re on the topmost part of it.

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I Fvcking Did

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If I hadn’t loved you
I would have never gotten mad at you
If I hadn’t cared about you
I would have never worried much about you
If I hadn’t missed you
I could not care less if you didn’t talk to me for years
But I did
I fvcking did.

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Urges

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You had been waiting for this exact moment
You were apart for far too long
And now she was at the door
You ran towards her
And pushed her against the wall
You forgot how cold the concrete wall was

You touched her lips with your right hand
As your left hand began to wander and found its way to her left leg
You looked at her and lifted her up
Her legs around your waist
You started biting her neck
You sucked
And sucked
And she moaned
And moaned
And moaned
She called out
She whispered into your ear
She asked you to stop
You realized
Maybe it was too much
You began to move slowly
You bowed down
And dropped to your knees
You looked at her
Stared into those beautiful brown orbs you have always loved
Her eyes were pleading
Begging
Her morals
Her faith
Her belief
Her everything
You almost let her lose all of that
Just because of your misery
Being away from her was hard
She knew that
If it was hard for you
It was more difficult for her
You touched her face
Tears streaming down like waterfalls
You leaned in and planted a kiss on her sweaty forehead
You locked her in your arms
And squeezed her tightly
No words were needed
But she knew
She knew how much that meant
How much strength you had
To be like that to her
She felt it
And so she pushed you against the wall
She touched your lips with her right hand
As her left hand began to wander
She wrapped her arms around you
She started biting your neck
She sucked
And sucked
And you moaned
And moaned
And moaned
You whispered her name
You made her stop
You looked at each other’s eyes
Drowning yourselves
You turned around because it was too much
You were conflicted
Frustrated
You did not know what to do
It was too good to be true
You sat down at the end of your bed
Your hands covered your face
You felt the bed sunk a little
You turned your head and looked at her
She was smiling
The smile you had been craving to see on her face
A tear fell down
And that was it.
That was the sign.

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