Love Gallivant

~ gallivanting about the city,

asking strangers to take photos of me |

dyeing my hair even darker,

looking in all the wrong places for a lover.

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Silence and Heartbeats

 

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There is beauty and pain in silence
that I both hate and love at the same time;
It is beautiful when my eyes meet your gaze
and without saying a word
our heartbeats seem to connect as one;
It is painful when you look the other way
and your heart starts beating for another.HorizontalBar_2

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Systole

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Tiny veins contracting
Blood ceaselessly pumping
Into beating hearts causing systole
A sign of life; a sign of normality
But, you know what’s not?
How I feel for you
when I see your lips curve upwards
my heart ceases to contract
my blood refuses to pump
my heart has a mind on its own
and decides to skip a beat
I forget my heart actually exists
and when I feel your skin against mine
I remember it is you
who makes my heart complete.

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Have I Not Told You Yet?

We all have a sacred, wild, healing, wise force within us; our inner Shaman. The concept of an inner Shaman suggests that we are not just a part of God/Goddess, we do not just contain a spark of this brilliance, we ARE God/Goddess manifest in human form. We are not just a part of nature, we ARE nature. We do not just have beauty within us, we ARE beauty. Awaken the inner Shaman from her dream and synchronize with the power to heal, step into purpose, and live as your sacred self.:
(source)

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The leaves fall
as Fall leaves.
The sun dazzles
before your dazzling eyes
Have I not told you yet?
You aren’t just my Universe,
You are my entire Supermassive Blackhole

To me,
You are worth the millions and billions
of solar masses
You are the body of my galaxy
The eye of my constellation
The only star falling for me

You are my entire life
My everything
I lose myself in you
Have I not told you yet?

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SPACE

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I dreaded the          space

between us

for I know it will take you

farther away from

me

And now you are

g_ne.

Why are you

gone?

You could have been my

SUN

The center of my

UNIVERSE

When you turned you kcab

and

                                             D

                                      R

                                 I

                          F

                   T

              E

         D

away,

my

B

      R

            O

K

E

and

e              x                   p              l                 o             d              e          d

into million pieces

like a

S U P E R N O V A

b     u        r s                  t     i n          g 

into space,

an

empty


.

.

.

.

space.

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Hollow Soul

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I wish to color this world purple

And sprinkle red and yellow glitters into the air

But all I am right now is a blank slate

An empty and hollow soul

A black and white entity

That can’t make your day brighter at the moment.

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Reverie

Early morning - enjoy the little things.:
(click photo to see source)

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I’ve been having a hard time

falling asleep lately

for I’ve been busy

falling in and out of love

forgive me

if this is too soon

but I am kind of

hooked up with your smile

forgive me

if I get a bit crazy

but I think

I have seen you before

getting lost in my reverie.

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Barely A Woman

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What if

we were all equal?

What if

there were no men

or women?

That

we were all

just humans

without color

without gender

who didn’t have

to eat

or drink

nor procreate

but could live

eternally?

No one

would be hungry,

no one

would be busy.

No one

would suffer

the pain

of losing someone.

No eyes

would ever cry,

no hearts

would ever die.

Everyone

would be free

from temptations

or sins.

But

our definition

of fun

would forever be gone.

I would love

to find out

for now

I am barely a woman.

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What I Do…

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Have you ever

laid down in bed at night

and thought of how much

I think of you?

Have you ever

stopped what you were doing

because you smelled

a scent like mine?

Have you ever

spaced out

because you saw

a photograph of me?

Have you ever

looked at the stars at night

because you remembered

that once, I existed in your life

and you pushed me away?

I wish you had because that is what I do

now that I’m not with you.HorizontalBar_2

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I Wish I Had Said…

 

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I wish I had told you

how scared I was of losing you

that everything I did and said

was not to push you away

but to make you understand

that I could not live without you

that I could not handle another heartache

that I do not see myself with someone else

other than you

that you are the Sun, the moon and the Stars

the earth, the water, the air and the fire

I wish I had said that you are

the only thing in this world that keeps my heart beating

that you are the electricity that keeps my light burning.

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Lost Soul

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I walk miles after miles to find my soul

only to find myself falling in love with places and people

I often stop and thank the Sun for the life I have conceived,

and pray for the moon for the love I am waiting to receive

With my favorite song playing on repeat,

I lay in bed feeling the spot where you ought to sleep

As my hands wander, I make a silent prayer for the sky to keep

Wishing for you to find your way instead and think of me as I weep.HorizontalBar_2

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Beauty and Pain

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I just listened to your last voice message for the nth time

My eyes drowning in tears while my lips attached to the rim of my glass wine

Leaving a red stain that has been on my lips for what seems like a lifetime

I look at the mirror forcing a smile

Mascara and dark eye liner encircle my eyes

I remember putting them on two days ago

And I never got to clean my face since then

You left without even saying goodbye

but you promised that you will be back after a long while

Why does love have to be so beautiful

and painful at the same time?

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Anything

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I envy the people who get to

see your beautiful face

hear your raspy, sexy voice

smell the sweet scent of your skin

I would give anything

just to be with you

to lie awake next to you

and stare at your beautiful green eyes

I would do anything

just to be one of those people

who get to be with you

every single day.HorizontalBar_2

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Dream

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I dreamed of a brighter day

but it didn’t last

I also craved for the dark

Because in it I found solace

I dreamed of rainbow colors

but black and white

made my life way better

and opened me more doors

I dreamed of milk chocolates

but it was too sweet

and I am bitter

So I asked for tight corsets

I dreamed of a pink cotton candy

but it was too cute and fluffy

which was not the one I needed

not unless it was a bottle of brandy

I dreamed of life-sized teddy bears

because they do not die

they do not wither

like a bouquet of flowers

I have never truly dreamed

of anything real besides him

because he was the dream

that came true without me wishing.

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Appreciation

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You may have not noticed

the way my eyes light up

with adoration

when you smile

You may have not felt

the way you touch my heart

the second

you produce a sound

I am sure you haven’t

and you will never have

unless I make it apparent

but one day,

I know

you will no longer be around

and I don’t want to wait

until that day to tell you

that I appreciate

every inch of you.

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Because Love

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You should never forget
how much I love you
You never have to worry
if I care about you as much as you do
Never doubt
whether I think about you every single second
Because love,
I do.
And you never have to do these things,
Because love,

it is mine to deal with
It is mine to battle against
My mountain to climb
And I don’t want you to waste your time
Because love,
It is me who always forget
that I love you
And I worry if I still care about you.
Because love,
when the pain is too much
we don’t have a choice
but to forget we have felt something in the first place.

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Love is a Place for You and Me.



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Love.

Do you know that there is a special place just above the sky

that is designed especially for the two of us?

A place where the oceans meet

             where the clouds overlap

             where the stars and the moons reside

             where a thousand suns illuminate your eyes

             where millions of roses rest under your feet.

There, you can find a waterfall named after your tears

A river where all of your dreams may come true

A castle stands in the middle of the sea

floating above the waters so you could walk without using your feet.

This place I am telling you is made out of love

A love that is stronger than the wind in a stormy night

A love that even the deadliest warrior in history of all histories can never destroy

A love that is just for you and me.HorizontalBar_2

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Metanoia

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A flowerless mimosa pudica

lays untouched

in the middle of the desert

parched and gasping

waiting to be moved

by your Ferocactus

so fleshy and succulent

ginormous and stretched

It makes it want to wish

it was a dandelion

fulfilling what you crave

There is something in you

that makes it want to fit in

to blend in

Your power over it is staggering

transforming

life changing

because that is what you are.

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Repression

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The sun rises

A smile shines out of my eyes

        as I look out the window

The grass seems greener

        than they have ever been

Dandelions get blown by the wind

        and I wish for just one thing

I look back at what has transpired

Broken tables

Wine splattered on the carpet floor

Clothes scattered everywhere

The roses you send every day

        still bloom like they were freshly picked from your garden

I feel every trace of ink on the letter

        that comes with it

Heavy breathing

I am feeling you

Every inch of you

Every beat of your heart

I wish I could touch you

I wish I could make love to you

       at this very moment

I wish I could tell you

       that underneath these clothes

I am naked.

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I Thought of You

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I thought of you
quite a lot of times today

As I tried to open my eyes
and get off my bed

As I fought the cold water
that ran through my bare shoulders

As I survived the traffic jam
on my way to work

And as a stranger in a dark alley
grabbed and took away

Everything I had been willing to give you.

Yes.

I thought of you.

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