How to be a High-Quality Person

I am here to confess and talk about friendship.

In the past four months, since I decided to move back to Manila while nursing my broken heart, I have met incredible people I now call my friends.

But how many people out of 100 would one really consider friends? What type of people would you genuinely call your friends?

For me, it is very important that you only surround yourself with people who are high-quality. Why? BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SEE YOURSELF AS A HIGH-QUALITY PERSON. And as a high-quality person, you need to be with people who are exactly just like you.

High-quality people will make you a better you. They will inspire and motivate you to think big. They have gone through a lot in their lives and have learned from all of it. Being around them will also awaken that burning desire of you to learn and improve yourself.

When you think of high-quality people, the first thing that may come into your mind is rich people, especially those who have gone from rags to riches. But based on my own observation and personal experience with people I have met in the last four months, it doesn’t really matter whether you were born with a silver spoon in your mouths or not, or if you just eked out for a living so much so that you eventually found the pot of gold that lifted you out of poverty.

So how do you become a high-quality person to your friends?

Here are high qualities you must possess:

  • Know the value of the time they spend with you.
  • Appreciate their presence.
  • Value their time and effort.
  • Reciprocate.
  • Do not let them down. In times of crisis, always try to be there and not leave them behind.
  • Don’t turn your back on them.
  • Defend them when you know they need it and deserve it.
  • Help them become a better version of themselves.
  • Do not spill their secrets to others even to strangers.
  • Do not talk bad about them because you know what it feels like to be in their situation.

Low-Qualities you should not possess:

Thinking highly of yourself and taking other people’s time for granted.

You see, everyone’s time is valuable. But for some reason, there are people who think their time is the most precious and most valuable thing in this world. People who act like this are usually those who are socially and economically blessed. They think they are higher than you are because they are successful and you are not, so you do not have any rights to complain about anything,

They get mad once you make them feel like you don’t appreciate the time they make for you. But to be honest, they only think about themselves. Most of the time, they are the ones who do not appreciate and value the time you spend on them. They do not see that making time for one another is a two-way street. Do not follow these people.

Only seeing a friend as a backup plan.

At one point in your life, you will come across people who will only see you as a backup plan and put you at the very bottom of their priority list. You do not need these people. You do not deserve to be a second thought or someone they can just pick or choose whenever they want or when they are left with zero options. No one deserves that.

Spilling secrets and violating others’ privacy.

Another thing low-quality people do is talking about someone behind their back and telling people their secrets. I have met this group of friends four months ago. At first, I had a very high sense of respect for them. They are successful with their businesses, living a really good life. But as time went by, I slowly lost my respect for them and realized they weren’t the right people to look up to.

Why? Because they tolerate one another’s bullshits and then talk bad about one another. One example will have to do with cheating. Two guys cheat on their “wives” on a regular basis and their friends support them, even lending them their space for a night so they can sleep with different women other than their supposedly “wives”. Another guy plays around and sleeps with different women, treating them as objects, taking videos of them while doing intimate stuff. What else? Oh…let’s not forget the fact I was sexually harassed by one of them.

These people have no respect for others, especially women. For them, women are to be objectified and ridiculed for their bodies. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I cringe when I think about it and I regret surrounding myself with them. Learn from my mistakes. You should never ever surround yourself with low-quality people like them.

And I hate to say this, but…most of the time, what a person is has something to do with how he was raised. If a person grew up being disrespectful and not being taught with proper manners, it will be hard for him to change.

Hence, I don’t see hope for low-quality people. The only hope I see now is for you…to be able to get rid of them and not replicate them.

THE QUALITY OF A PERSON ISN’T MEASURED BY HOW MUCH HE POSSESSES BUT BY HOW HE WAS RAISED AND WHO HE IS IN GENERAL. 

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My Everything

She could give you everything

you want and surely,

she would still have something

left for herself;

I don’t have everything

you want,

but I would give you my everything

even if that means

nothing would be left

for myself.

 

II Senses VI: Cold Sheets

 

An empty bed found under cold sheets

the comfort I feel

does not compare to what you give me

when you lay underneath.

A heart is frozen

within these covers,

and only you can make it warm

with your presence

and the love you shower.

A heart is lonely

inside its parameters,

and only you can heat up

the ice that numbs it

and stops  it from beating.

If these sheets could talk

I would ask them to tell you

how much I long for you

to touch every inch

of me.

If only these sheets could walk,

I want them to go straight

to where you are

so you could feel

me within your arms.

Once again,

my love.

Only for tonight.

 

II Senses V: When I Look At You

I wonder how you feel
when I look at you.
Do you get
uncomfortable
as I stare at your
physique, or
when I examine
every part of your body
with my eyes?
I wonder how you feel
every time I study
your every angle
and every curve,
and how you curse
yourself within your head
when you get too affected;
And I wonder
if you know
when I look at you,
your eyes take me to
a different place
and your face looks like
art that deserves
to be praised
I wish I could
freeze the time
so I could enjoy
just watching you
live your life
and I’d be happy
just admiring you
from afar
and greeting you
countless goodnights.

II Senses IV: Say My Name

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Say my name out loud
until you forget
all the other people
who have ever felt
your heart
through your skin,
and heard your thoughts
through your screams;
just say my name
and I will be in your dreams.

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Open Letter: Dear Mr. Independent

You consider yourself independent because you can support yourself and you do not seek any kinds of assistance from others. You have a stable high-paying job, and you have enough, if not overflowing amount of money to provide you a lifetime of luxury. In fact, you may even have your own company where you pay others to work for you.

Of course, it is just expected that when it comes to finding a potential partner, you try your best to find that person who is exactly the same as you are, someone we also call Miss Independent.

You have to remember that although she could be the same as you, she is actually different. She may make enough money for herself, so she wouldn’t have to depend from others financially. She does things on her own and she lives away from her family. She is hardworking. She would rather starve working than have someone feeding her for free. She could be poor, but she has enough and that’s all that matters to her.

Of course, just because she chooses to stay somewhere that only gives her enough to feed herself, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have other dreams in life. She knows she shouldn’t settle for less, but she also believes in being happy with a job. She believes in learning and growing while passionately working.

You also have to know and remember that she is not a charity case. Maybe she lacks a lot of luxurious things in life, but it doesn’t mean that just because she doesn’t have something, she cannot afford it. She can buy things when she needs it, not just when she wants it. And sometimes she would rather spend her money on other people than spend it for herself.

She knows which things and people to prioritize. Miss Independent has a firm belief that in order to survive being independent, she has to keep in mind that she only has to focus on what she needs. She knows that once she gives in to her wants, she wouldn’t be able to control herself. She believes that if she wants something, she has to work for it, and she doesn’t want to waste anything she has worked hard for.

She will try to outsmart anyone who threatens her independence. She will try to avoid people whom she thinks will make her feel frustrated and vulnerable. She will try to avoid getting attracted to people like you.

In the end, if you try hard to get her attention, she will slowly start loving you and she will give her everything to you — her heart, her mind, her body and her soul. Although she is independent in other aspects of her life, you will find out that she is actually not emotionally independent. She will try to hide it from you or from anyone, but you will find it out.

She will tell you how she feels but she will not repeat herself. Please, don’t make her repeat herself. She knows when she is not being appreciated and recognized, which is why she could get easily upset. She would never tell you what she is upset about, so you have to know it’s related to her feelings somehow.

Miss Independent likes to repress her feelings and desires to avoid coming out as a weak person to you. She wants you to know she is strong and brave. She wants you to know she can live without you even when she can’t.

Because of that Mr. Independent, I hope that you could still be her rock even when she thinks she can stand on her own feet. I hope you could still be her strength, inspire and motivate her, understand her and be patient with her and love her without judgment.

You see, Mr. Independent, you are exactly the same independent people, but you actually are different from each other. You can be both physically and emotionally independent, while she may only possess half of the equation.

Being independent does not mean you do not need anyone in your life. We all need someone who will remind us how strong we are, someone who will love us unconditionally, someone who is willing to be there even when we think we don’t need them.

And sometimes, we just need someone who can make us feel vulnerable and weak, so we’d remember that we’re actually humans.

Open Letter: Just Let Them Go

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How many times have you blamed yourself for whatever happened to people you used to care about? Has this helped you feel better in any way? I sure am not. Hence, instead of constantly blaming yourself for a failed relationship or friendship, it would be better for you to just let go. Let go of people. Let go of yourself. Let go of your feelings. But when do you know it is time to let go and which people do you need to disassociate yourself with?

WHO TO LET GO

01 That person who ONLY talks to you when s/he needs something from you.

Sometimes you meet someone and at first, things go really well between the two of you…until you notice that you have started talking to each other less and less. And one day, this person comes to you and asks you for help. Of course, being the good person that you are, you will help him/her, and s/he goes on with his/her life once again.

02 That person who only talks about himself/herself.

This person does not ask about you after you ask her how his/her day has been. This is the person who does not ask for your opinion or reaction right after s/he shares his/hers and would go on talking until s/he can’t say anything anymore.

03 That person who only listens so s/he could talk, or that friend who doesn’t listen at all.

Yes, s/he listens to you, but only because s/he wants to say something about it. Sometimes, s/he even pretends to listen and becomes impatient and hurry you up, so s/he could finally share his/her thoughts.

04 That person who only sees you as a rebound friend, manipulates you and guilt-trips you.

S/he only knows you when his/her other friends are not around,and s/he tries to manipulate you to get what s/he wants. S/he constantly asks for your attention when  no one is giving it to him/her, and would guilt-trip you when s/he is not getting anything from you.

05 That person who only remembers you during the bad times.

I mean…it is very nice to think that someone remembers you during their bad days, but if they are only there with you because they know you would help them feel better, is that still a good thing? Definitely not. This person would surely forget you exist once their bad days are over.

06 That person who only sees your bad qualities and does not recognize the good things you have done.

There are people who always see the best in you, while there are also some who only remember you for your bad qualities. Everyone has their own dark side, but if a person only sees the bad in you, and does not recognize that you also have good qualities, then you will just spend your life trying to figure out why this person does not see you the way others do.

07 That person whose behavior changes according to people s/he is with.

We cannot avoid meeting and interacting with someone whose behavioral acts differ according to the people they are with. One time, they are so good around you, and the next time they are with another group of people, they change, and they treat you a bit differently.

08 That person who forgets to invite you.

There is nothing more painful than not being invited to a party, an outing, an event or even to dinner by someone you expect to be your friend. It makes you feel like you are just an option and your presence does notreally matter that much.

09 That person who doesn’t bother to call when you are sick or when you are in a terrible situation.

This person wouldn’t dare to call because s/he doesn’t care whether or not you are coping up well or not.

10 That person who does not care whether or not you let go of him/her.

It is hard to accept, but there are people who do not see our importance in their lives. If you do not matter to someone, then s/he wouldn’t care whether or not you stay or leave.

At first, you will of course try your best to work things out, but if it doesn’t work out and you’re the only one trying to make an effort, then have a little respect for yourself and open your eyes to the fact that it is not going to work out anymore.

Letting go of these kinds of people are sometimes the best thing one can do. It may make you look selfish and insensitive, but you have to remember that before you have to offer your love and trust to people, you have to trust and love youself first. You have to focus on what makes you happy, and remember not to give everything, as it may just cause you pain in the long run.

Don’t ever blame yourself for a failed relationship. Don’t be so hard on yourself. People come and go, and it isn’t your fault. Sometimes people have to leave because it is for the best.

When your relationship or your friendship is no longer growing, but is slowly going down the drain instead, and you can no longer do anything to work it out, letting go is sometimes the better option than staying and letting the relationship ruin each of you.

When you decide to let go of the people that once meant so much to you, sometimes you won’t help but feel guilty. You feel guilty for letting things get in the way. You’d also probably feel like a loser because you are choosing to give up.

But no…giving up doesn’t always make you a loser. It makes you a winner because you have the courage and strength to let go of something that was very important to you, but doesn’t see your importance.

You have to remember that you are one special piece of snowflake, and you, just like everyone else, deserve better.

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II Senses II: Craving

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I crave for
a love
I have never
felt before;
for a smile
no one
could ever ignore;
for a touch
only your
hands could
make;
for warm,
tight squeezes
for goodnight kisses
for morning greetings
for your body
pressed
against my back
every sunset
every sunrise
I crave
for you to crave
for me
the way plants
crave for sunlight
during rainy season
the way nightwalkers
wait for the sun
to move down
the horizon
during the
summer solstice —
strong,
impatient,
vulnerable,
yet intense.

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All That I’ve Got

I need something else

Would someone please just give me

Hit me, knock me out

And let me go back to sleep

— All That I’ve Got – The Used
My mornings usually start with looking at my phone and finding a message from my sister, and my nights usually end with another message from her reminding me how much she loves and misses me. She does this even at times I don’t get a chance to respond to her.

I have always thought that my sister is the most misunderstood member in our family. Our dad’s family has always seen her as the black sheep, psycho granddaughter, niece, daughter, cousin and sister. They think of her as someone who shouldn’t be imitated, despite the praises they give her for being so smart in school.

I remember them reminding me not to be like her. I remember myself reassuring them I won’t, although in my mind, I know that my sister is the best and I am very proud of her.

I could not blame our relatives for calling her a black sheep and for seeing her that way. She has always been the one who goes against rules when she knows that these rules violate her right as a person. I think I may have gotten that attitude from her.

My sister has a personality disorder, and she has been through a lot of traumatic events in her life. She has suffered more than I have, yet she remains to be my strength. I couldn’t be any more proud of having her as my sister. I get anxious and really depressed every single second but every time she tells me she loves me, I feel a whole lot better.

It’s a little bit funny because I know how often she gets depressed, yet she always seems so happy every time she texts me or calls me on the phone. In fact, she always sounds so cheerful and enthusiastic. I admire her ability to cover what she really feels deep inside her. I know her too well. I know she has negative thoughts and that she has still been fighting off her demons. She is doing a really good job in hiding it.

I have to admit that behind these self-strength posts I always write is an anxious and depressive woman who continuously tries to battle all the things that makes her feel bad about herself.

Every day, just like what my sister does, I do my best to be the better version of myself. I try to smile, to laugh, and to think of myself as a strong person. Sometimes I fail, but every time I do, I think of my sister and remember how she, herself, has done her best to be better, to think positively and to be happy despite every thing.

I know that we’re not perfect. We make stupid mistakes, but these mistakes help us learn and grow day by day. My sister doesn’t have to remind me to learn from her, but I do remember how she never lets her past hinder her from being the amazing person that she is.

Sometimes, we learn from our mistakes. Sometimes, we learn from others. Sometimes, we grow on our own. Sometimes, we grow with others. ❤️

I’ll be just fine

Pretending I’m not

I’m far from lonely

And it’s all that I’ve got.

A Little Thought on Commitment

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Sometimes people do not want to commit to you regardless of how much they like you or how good you make them feel.

Sometimes they just suddenly stay away from you or stop loving you further to save themselves from vulnerability. It is simply a selfish and nonsensical reason.

Does the inability to commit yourself to someone you like affect your maturity when it comes to relationships? I am not sure; but I do know that when people cannot commit themselves yet, it reflects their willingness and preparedness to take risks.

They.

Are.

Not.

Yet.

Ready.

When they think they aren’t ready yet, when will they be?

“In time,” they may say.

“In time” may take forever.

When you fall, it just happens. You cannot plan nor set a schedule for it.

It is okay to allow yourself to feel vulnerable sometimes. It shows that you can feel something. It shows that you can feel pain, and that you’re human. It is okay to have someone to make you feel that way. You can love, and you shouldn’t stop yourself from feeling it.

And if someone decides to stay away from you, or stops loving you further because of reasons unknown, it isn’t going to be your fault.

Continue being adorable. You are an awesome-azingly beautiful human being. ❤

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Senses XVII: How Much I Love

 

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I can no longer count

the many times

I have to stop myself

from saying I love you.

I love you

with a love

bigger than

the moon and the sun

combined;

wider than

all the galaxies

hiding above the sky;

higher than

the sun could

ever, ever rise;

longer than

the miles

a bird could learn to fly;

and deeper than

the inner core

of all the planets combined.

I love you more

than the many times

I don’t remember

how to breathe;

I love you too much

I have to stop myself

from saying it

every time we kiss.

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Unloved

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He called her name
from outside the room
as if it was a specialized endearment
he made for her

She pretended to sleep
just to see
if he was coming to get her
yet he didn’t

She wasn’t aware that
he was calling her
just to say goodbye
one last time

What’s more heartbreaking
than knowing she was slowly
being unloved
without her being aware of it?

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My Little Jealous Heart

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My little jealous heart is a little jealous of your big confident heart,
yet it cannot help but feel a little bit more crazy for you since the very start.

My little jealous heart is a little insecure and intimidated by you,
it burns by your presence and melts by the sight of you.

My little jealous heart wants no competition,
for it knows you would do better without it in your possession.

My little jealous heart aches for you every single day,
and it wishes you would do the same without being scared away.

My little jealous heart wishes all the best for you,
and so it is slowly changing just to be perfect for you.

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Fantastic You and I

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He said, “Write anything under the sun. Write about your hopes and dreams.” I said, “I do. I always write about you.”

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We are a team —
You and I.

I wish not to ever leave your side.
I wish not to be kicked out of your life.

I wish to be the only person who get to see your everyday smile.
And I wish to be the one holding your hand every single time.

And if you ever leave,
worry not about me my love,
for you are
and you will always be
stuck in my mind.

In every single second
you are not around,
I keep you in the
innermost part of my heart
guarded by rose thorns
and secured with my undying love.

And if you ever come to me,
I wish not to see the lines
on your forehead forever stuck,
I wish not to see your brows
all lined up in just one direction,
and that the only line I will ever get to see
is the upward curve of your lips
while you stare into my eyes
and melt my heart and soul at the same time.

And we will be happy
For you are my fantastic love,
and I am yours —

We are fantastic, You and I.

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A Letter To My Best Friends (Who Now Live From Afar)

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Hello to the most beautiful people in my life! 🙂

How’s life been for you? I hope everything has been great for all of you! I have a firm belief that it does! I haven’t heard from you in a while, and you have no idea how much I have been missing you. Nevertheless, I know that even when we don’t talk as much as we used to, we all still remember one another every day.

When I miss you, I just check your social media accounts, in short, I just stalk your profiles. 😀 I know you all have been very busy with school and work just like I do, but it makes me happy when I see your happy face in your photos. Despite the stress, I am happy that you all still find a way to smile, and I am glad that no matter how tired you are, you still find time to inspire others with your smile.

I will always wish for you to be happy, and I am glad that no matter what life throws at you, you still find a way to make things work. I am glad that you have incredible people around you who endlessly love and support you. I am glad that there are many of them filling a spot I can not take every day (bitterness aside :P).

However, sometimes I get so lonely. I miss you all so much. I am not glad about the constant longing I have for you. I wish we didn’t have to live so far from each other, so I could always be physically there for you when you need someone to talk to and when I also need a hug from each of you. I wish we could just easily run to each other, do things we both love and other random things.

We all meet other people in our life, and we learn to move on as time progresses. I have met and known so many incredible people as well, and I am so happy to have them in my life. I am just so happy that we still have each other all throughout.

Thank you for always trying your best to be here for me when I need you. I know that if I just send you one message asking for attention, you’d immediately be here for me no matter how busy you are. And in return, I will always be here for you as well. I will always do my best to give you a shoulder to lean on and help you in everything for as much and as long as I can.

Thank you for understanding my moody behavior and for loving even the dark side of me. Thank you for not giving up on me whenever I give you attitude or whenever I try to be high-maintenance. Thank you for not being too much like me.

This morning, I woke up to a realization that when you’ve been friends with some people for a long, long time and you’ve come to love one another truthfully, genuinely, honestly and without any doubts and judgments, no matter where each of you are, you will always be best friends and sisters by heart.

I want you all to know that even when we haven’t spoken to one another in a while, I do carry each and everyone of you in my heart. I am always proud of you, and always thankful that I have you in my life. I miss you terribly, and I love you always.

Your best friend 🙂

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Winter in My Heart

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I create my own problems.

I’ve known this fact about me for a very long time now. When everything goes the way I want it to, I find a way to create a problem and dwell on it until it’s gone.

The weather has been extremely bad during the past few days. Sometimes it is too hot. Sometimes it is too cold. Sometimes it rains so heavily, sometimes it is too sunny. These changes in the weather apparently affects me a lot. I have noticed some drastic changes in the way I think, act and behave.

How many times have I complained about the cold lately? Too many.

It’s too cold. I am freezing.

I have said this too many times to everyone around me. I have even sent it as a message to the people close to me.

You’re freezing? That’s odd. You’ve never felt too cold before.

My best friend replied, reminding me about how I dress. She is right. Usually, I never really feel the cold even in zero-degree places. I am accustomed to dressing light, and even when it is freezing outside, I still wear short dresses, high-waist shorts and sleeveless tops.

Maybe it’s just your heart.

She replied one more time. This line hit me right both in the head and in my heart.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s just my heart and my mind battling with reality. It’s so cold, yes, literally…that is right, but it is not the weather that really makes me feel so cold.

There’s winter in my heart…

And my mind is trying to find a way to battle it. I need fire to counteract it.

I need love…

But I don’t want it.

I don’t want love because when I start wanting it, I keep giving it all without expecting anything in return. I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to make memories because I know that these memories will leave me haunted when the love is gone.

And so right at this moment, I may be destroying my chance of being loved.

I don’t want to create memories with anyone. I am scared of vulnerability. I have been in that state too many times before. The more I spend time with someone I really like, the more I fall into the abyss of loving that person, and the more that my desire for his/her love and all of his/her attention grows, and the least thing I want right now is for that person to feel suffocated. And so, I keep trying to push anyone away. Today, I may not want to talk to you or spend time with you, and then tomorrow, I may find myself annoying you with my “heys”, and asking for your love and attention.

It is too cold. Maybe you can give me your love to warm me up.

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That Best Friend Who Never Gives Up

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To my best friend who woke me up with this sketch she made for me:

We have been very busy recently, but you never fail to surprise me. You have no idea how much happiness you have caused me when I saw this picture. I have been at my lowest state these past few days, and even when we’re five thousand miles apart, you still make sure you’re here for me (virtually).

I have been having crappy days, and you always know when I need you. It’s like you can detect my sadness even when I don’t tell you. I hope you’re keeping this sketch you made for me because I’ll be asking for it when we meet again. I am very proud of you, and I miss and love you terribly.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for staying with me even at times I am pushing you away.

Thank you for being so understanding, and for forgiving me every time I make you feel like I am neglecting our friendship.

Thank you for always being a sister, and for not judging me based on my actions and my behavior.

Thank you for not giving up on me.

I will try my best to be better for you.

I love you always and forever.

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What she said that melted my heart:

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Here’s the photo of mine that she copied:

I love how passionate she is with her paintings.

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Isn’t she great? She is better at art than I am, but I’ve always been so proud of her. ❤

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One of my favorite piece she made.

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Senses XI: You Are For Me

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I can never count the lips

that touched yours

nor imagine the hands

that laid on your chest

I can never blame the burning eyes

that witnessed your smile

nor the hearts

that beat for you

but one thing is for sure

I don’t care

how many lips have tasted yours or

how many hands caressed your body

how many eyes desired your soul and

how many hearts used to own yours

because they are the ones

that shaped those lips

and that body

the ones that prepared

your heart and soul

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My Happiness, My Choice

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Happiness is a choice, and right now, you’re either happy or you’re not choosing to be happy.

Let’s say you have been in a roller coaster of emotions lately. One second, you feel extremely happy and content by yourself. The next minute, you are in bed alone with your depressing thoughts.

Despite these, I know you still try your best to feel better. You’ve been alone most of the time, and you’ve encouraged yourself to be happy with your own company.

So lately, you haven’t really been very productive. You’ve been physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. If you were to summarize your week, you couldn’t remember a thing because all the other things you did have gone with the wind as soon as you were done with them.

Let’s say you were like me.

Let’s put yourself in my situation.

Imagine that you were me, and I were you.

Imagine that you were prettier (LOL).

Okay, that’s a bad joke. Sorry. 😛

I was feeling this way lately. I felt motivated to do nothing. Everything I did only felt like chores to me, and this wasn’t the first time. This happens to me sporadically, and when it does, I try my best to make myself feel better.

So lately, I remember doing these two things to feel better and be happy.

Staying away from social networking sites.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been on SNS a lot for the past few weeks and it has been causing me a lot of stress. Last week, I started scheduling a time where I would log out of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and all messaging apps. The struggle was real, but I tried my best to stay away from what was causing me too much stress. I feel stressed out talking to people, but sometimes, I feel more stressed out because people are not talking to me. I still log back in, of course, but I am glad to be able to stay away from socializing over the Interwebs even just for a little while.

Listening to music that I find good for my soul.

I have been seeking comfort in indie and stoner rock music lately. These are two of my favorite genre of music, and I haven’t listened to it for a long time because I’ve been caught up with so many things.

So I am stressed out and I want to be happy…Alone. I need to learn how to be happy alone.

 Now playing on repeat:

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How’s life lately?

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Senses X: Lost Feelings

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I want to write you a poem
that would make you feel loved
but neither could I fathom
nor express the feelings I have
for you right at this moment
I could love you today
and hate you tomorrow
I could get drunk and kiss you
and then push you away
I could say all the things
you want me to say
and leave you expecting,
parching, starving
looking for love that got lost
before it even began
right under these sheets.

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