It wasn’t love at first sight. In fact, it was love at first fight. It started with me calling him gay because of his knee–high socks, and asking him where he bought his beard. He pissed me off to a point that I gathered all of my strength and courage to personally confront him through a private conversation.
Me: Are you crazy?
We sorted things out and settled it, but the butterflies didn’t appear just yet. To me, he was the most annoying person I’ve ever met. To him, I was just another girl attempting to catch his attention by throwing a fit at him, even though in reality, I wasn’t.
I was still in the process of healing at the time he came into my life. I had ended a long-time and unhealthy relationship, and even though it had already been months since that happened, I was still trying to slowly get back on my feet.
I had to admit, I didn’t have any intentions to feel something for him. He was out of my league. He was someone I didn’t want to surround myself with, but every time I tried to stay away, he still found his way into my life.
My previous relationship was a sad one. It was unhealthy for me. I was with someone who was dealing with emotional and mental problems, and didn’t make any extra effort to actually make our relationship work. Although I tried my best to understand, it came to a point when all the strength I had for this person was nowhere to be found anymore. I was guilt-tripped and manipulated, and it took me a long time to realize it.
And that may be one of the reasons I tried to push him away. I was scared of falling and being in a relationship again. I thought I wasn’t ready to get emotionally attached with anyone. Besides, it was too good to be true. He was too nice to me. No matter how mean I got to him, he still remained good to me. And because of that, I slowly and surely fell again.
The very first time I saw him, I felt my heart drop down my intestines to my uterus, and then to my feet. I ate every negative word I said to him. He became the very first person that made me literally whisper “carpe diem”, syllable by syllable in the open air.
I fell in love with the goodness of his heart. His willingness and his presistence helped me replace my dark, tired heart with a brighter, new one.
I fell in love with the beauty of his sound. His voice, his music — the very first time I listened to it, I felt electricity running through my veins. I was ecstatic. I’ve always admired musically inclined people.
Even his laugh sounded like music to my ears. I could listen to him and stare at his beautiful face all day, and not get tired of it even though he made it clear to me that staring at him would make him feel uncomfortable. He never knew I had always liked making him feel that way.
I fell in love with the warmth of his body. I have always been cold, and out of all the people I’ve met, his touch is the warmest.
I fell in love with all the smallest things he did. I have always been the simple girl in town. Although I could try to be luxurious in so many things, I never did. Simplicity has always been my kind of thing; and when I saw how simple he could be, I felt my lips slowly curved in an upward motion.
I fell in love with his generosity and his willingness to extend his hands. He showed me a differend kind of generosity — the most outstanding kind. He had never made me feel alone. There may have been times when I did feel like no one could ever understand me, but I saw how hard he tried to be there.
I fell in love with him, and I would fall in love with him over and over again.
My love for him is so much different from the love I used to give to people. I love annoying him. I love contradicting him. I love saying the opposite thing when he tells me something. I love being mean to him. I love making things hard and complicated for him. I give him my worst attitude, and sometimes, I say the most stupid things to him; yet every time I do it, he never seems to take it seriously and I am thankful of how patient and good he is.
I may be very lucky to have him as I have never felt happier ever since I met him. It’s crazy how the Universe conspires against you sometimes. It gives you something when you don’t want it…and then you will learn to accept it and realize you actually want it.
It wasn’t love at first sight, but it is the kind of love that’s going to last until I lose my sight.
Find this on: