Heartsickness

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Heal me, I’m heartsick
I’m hungry and I’m broken
I’m haunted, and weeping
The blood of heaven flowing like a river tonight, tears I can’t fight on my own

“Do you even have plans to get up?!” she yelled outside my room as I curled up in bed, my eyes shut tightly, tired from last night’s crying session. No Vacancy’s song was still playing on repeat.

“Give me a minute,” I mumbled, imagining she heard me.

“Just get up already! We’re going to be late!” she busted trough my door, and took the duvet off my body. I struggled to open my eyes and sat up. She tried to meet my gaze, but I avoided her. I focused on the mirror across my bed. I smiled just a little as I saw my reflection. I looked like a mess. A real hot mess. I was still wearing the same little dress I wore when I went out last night. I wasn’t able to clean my face, so my makeup was all over my face.

“How long are you going to be like this?” she asked with a stern voice. I took a deep breath as tears started to well up in my eyes all over again.

“I am so sorry,” was all I could say. The tears turned into loud sobbing. I couldn’t help it. It broke my heart to even look at her. She knew how much pain I had in me. She opened her arms and squeezed me tightly.

“I have never dreamed of seeing you in so much pain. If I could just take away all your pain, I would,” she softly whispered into my ear.

And right there and then, I felt temporarily safe and healed. I didn’t want to let go. I wish I didn’t have to, because I knew that once I did, she’d be long gone.

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Story (c) Diana Marcos 2015

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