A Letter to A Cheater: What Cheating Really Means

25 Signs He's Cheating On You - How to Know If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating - Cosmopolitan:

HorizontalBar_2This is the second part of my first letter.

What does cheating really mean? I think it is pretty much subjective. But unfortunately, for some people (mostly the people who are very defensive of this act) believe so much in its objective meaning.

I have written something about cheating yesterday, and until now, I still haven’t recovered from it. The person I was referring to in my post, let us call her Maria, had become so defensive of it, and retaliated. She sent a message saying that she didn’t actually cheat on a very close friend of mine. She said, “I didn’t do anything intimate with her,” but she also told my friend she kissed the other girl she liked. She even defined the word “cheating” for us because she thought we needed it, and that we don’t understand its real meaning.

She said (This line was originally in Tag-lish):

“Can you define cheating? Because the last time I checked, I didn’t have any intimate acts with somebody”

Sounds familiar?

Well, we checked Urban Dictionary and it said that cheating is:

“When one person has a significant other and performs any type of intimate acts with another person.”

It is a pity that she had to copy one definition of the word just to defend herself, when there are also other definitions of the said word that justify her action. Well, I don’t really want to be that objective, but since she has started copying lines from unreliable sources, I feel like it is also a must that I list down the different definitions of the word “cheating” from more reliable sources:


verb (used with object)

: to defraud; swindle

: to deceive; influence by fraud

: to elude; deprive of something expected
: a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds


: to break a rule or law usually to gain an advantage at something

: to take something from (someone) by lying or breaking a rule

: to prevent (someone) from having something that he or she deserves or was expecting to get

transitive verb

:  to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud
:  to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice
:  to elude or thwart by or as if by outwitting <cheat death>
: Act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage
: Gain an advantage over or deprive of something by using unfair or deceitful methods; defraud
: Be sexually unfaithful (the only meaning of “cheating” for her hah!)
: A person who behaves dishonestly in order to gain an advantage.
So, cheating is not just used to refer to someone who had intimate or sexually suggestive acts with another person. When I wrote my post yesterday, I didn’t claim that she was intimately involved with the person she cheated on my friend with. She pretended she didn’t like that person while she was with my friend, only to find out that she actually had strong feelings for the other person while she was still in a relationship.

Cheating means you are being dishonest or unfair to someone. It is a form of lying or keeping the truth. The next time you say something, make sure that your research is better than mine.

Good luck, Cheater.


Shout out to Urban Dictionary, Dictionary.com, Merriam-Webster and Oxford Dictionary. 😀

15 thoughts on “A Letter to A Cheater: What Cheating Really Means

  1. I had a post on the exact same thing about a month back. Cheating definitely is fairly ambiguous, and can be anything from sexual contact to a secretive relationship.
    I think it’s pretty clear that “cheating” has started long before the relationship has crossed “certain lines”. Because the relationship has to develop to a point where those lines can be crossed, and all those little steps while the relationship is developing matter. At some point, people realize that some sort of feelings have developed – but they choose to keep going anyhow.

    Liked by 2 people

        1. Hahaha! I’d love to hear what else you want to say! I still couldn’t get over what happened to my friend and her ex, but I am glad she is already moving on. She laughed at me for being more mad than she is. Hihi. Who wouldn’t be mad, right? :/

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Haha that just shows how good a friend you are! When you can get more mad on her behalf for her… 😛 . I would be mad too and I’m not sure I’d be able to get over it that quickly so kudos to your friend for having moved on! Cheating depends on exceeding the understood boundaries set between you and your partner so yeah, there’s no easy way out if one’s done it and knows he/she is guilty of it! Like there’s no middle-way…call me conservative hahaha


  2. So true! Cheating is not about the physical act–if God forbid someone is raped, is that cheating? Of course not! It’s about respecting the boundaries of a relationship as set by those in it. That’s way people in open relationships are not cheating when they sleep with others, and why people in very tight relationships consider even intimate talks (not even sexual) as a form of emotional cheating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true! Intimacy doesn’t just mean sexually but also emotionally. In my friend’s ex’s case, she was defensive and she told everyone she didn’t cheat because there was no intimacy between her and the other girl she was with (she’s lesbian). But then we found out that she liked the girl even before the break up happened, and she actually kissed the other girl. So she actually had an intimate moment with her, emotionally and romantically.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh wow. Well often people who know deep down they have done something wrong can’t handle facing the consequences of their actions, so they would rather completely ignore the reality and create an alternative one in which they can live in which the boundaries of morality that they adhere to is actually a lot larger than the ones they actually adhere to… I’m a little mean lol sorry!


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