Maybe you were right. We can’t be together if I never help myself to be a better version of me. Maybe you were right when you said I can’t be with you if I stay like this — eternally lonely.
I thought I was already the better version of myself. I thought I was better than who I was yesterday, but I guess I still wasn’t. There are still lots of things to improve on, and I am starting to feel like I am never going to be good enough, that I will never be good at something.
I tell myself it is okay. It is okay to fail because I wasn’t born perfect and I will never be perfect. It is okay to give up when I can no longer hold on to something that I’ve been having a hard time dealing with.
You may tell me that is a foolish thing to do — to quit — and that only the weak and dreamless people do it. But you know what? Sometimes quitting could be the strongest and bravest thing you could do.
I’ve always wanted to be the last person to say something. It is not because my pride is too high that I want to be able to say the last words in a conversation, but it is because I want you to remember five to ten years from now that I did not give up and just forget what you said…that I responded, and that was the end of everything.
I have never known how painful it is going to be when you let me say the last words. I have never thought I would want you so bad to respond…to tell me not to give up, to hold on and be more patient, to be strong for you.
Hold onto me, ‘Cause I’m a little unsteady. If you love me, don’t let go