Sometimes you would want to ask them why.
You want to understand why.
Why they don’t like you.
Why they can’t love you.
Why they can’t stay with you.
Why they can’t come back to you.
Is it your big, orange hair that seems to be full of mystery? Is it your innocent smile that makes them feel miserable because they cannot smile the same way that you can? Is it your skinny body that cannot do sports?
Is it because you hate sushi and anything raw? That you do not want to eat almost everything that they like? Is it because you do not share the same interest even when you try to understand them and support them because it’s what makes them happy?
Sometimes you would ask them if it was just because you were ugly? That you cannot sleep without your choker on but you can sleep with your makeup still on your face.
Sometimes you would ask so many questions that no one could ever really answer, not even yourself.
And then you realize…
You are fucking lonely.
And you are just fucking insecure.
Is that what you deserve? Is that how you want your life to be?
To be just a”sometimes” question that never gets answered?