Written by Ellaine Go for Toast&Tea
I do not want you to be weak.
But when you are weak, that will be the time I will love you the most.
I do not want you to be vulnerable.
But when the time comes you’ll get to be vulnerable, I will be the stronger pillar within our relationship.
I do not want you to cry.
But when you cry, I will let you know that every teardrop you shed, represents a reason why I will love you more everyday.
I do not want you to die.
But when the time comes that you have to leave this world, I will assure you that I will be there and die too, with you.
When you are in pain, I love how you ask for love and comfort.
I love it when I get to be the one who takes care of you. I like bringing you food. I like preparing your breakfast, lunch and dinner. I like going with you everywhere you want to go. I love road-tripping with you at the most unlikely hours of the day. I will skip a work day for you. I will stay in bed with you and hug you tight.
I love it when you are in pain.
When you are in trouble, I love how you are so scared and just try to fit yourself in every hole of my body.
I love how you hold my hand so tight. I love how you look straight to my eyes and tell me that you need me. I love it when you do not want to leave my side. I love it when you seek shelter in me. I love it when you get to imagine I have the purest soul of all people you know. I love it how you validate me as your partner in crime.
I love it when you are in trouble.
When you feel so lonely and down, I love it when you seek for my guidance.
I love to be the clown to cheer you up. I love to be the stairs to lift up your spirits. I love to be your sanctuary. I love how you can share everything with me without having to worry about my own judgments and opinions. I love it how you sound so fragile, that you let me cover you up. I love how you look so gloomy and ask me to be the light in this world of darkness. I love to be the girl who will put a smile on your face overtime you get to frown.
I love it when you feel so lonely and down.
When you feel like giving up, I love how you ask for help. I love how you pray with me.
I love it when you ask me on what to do. I love it when you base your decisions from the situations I presented to you. I love it when you feel like dying but knowing I’m still here so you regret and take back what you just said. I love it how impulsive you are. I love it how you get angry at the simplest of things. I love it how you point out errors more than the good things in your life. I love how pessimistic you are.
I love it when you feel like giving up.
The things I have said are all true. I love how delicate your soul is. But I am not saying this for you to hate yourself more. I just wanted you know that despite being frail, I will still love you.
The things I have said will not make me love you less than before. You are what you are and that is what I love about you the most. I love you my feeble lover.
Ellaine Go is a 22 year old Industrial Engineer. She loves to write musings and create hand-letterings. You can also find her at ellainego.com.