Setting Lumbersexuals On Fire

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Chopping Wood And Looking Good. Beards. Men. Lumberjack.:
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LUMBERSEXUALS. Damn. Who doesn’t like them? *keeps hands in my pocket* Nope. Not me. I love them! Although, I gotta say, not all men with beards are sexy. But hey, most of them are!

Vincent's hair isn't this long but there's something about this photo that reminds me of him:
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For those who don’t have a clue what a lumbersexual is (poor you), it is a coined word that is used to describe a man who has sexy beard and scruffy hair that make you want to play with using your fingers (?), and likes to wear flannel or plaid and sometimes, band shirts. Their hair could either be neatly trimmed or very long. You could see some of them rocking sexy man buns and even braid. Some also sport hipster eyeglasses that don’t even have prescriptions. It is a current trend in men’s fashion that seems to promote masculinity, strength and DANGER.

beardsplustattoos: Holdin’ on Model: Edwar Tiger Photo: David Alvarez:
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And what sorcery is this? All the tattoos, the perfectly trimmed beard and hair, the flannel shirts and everything!

I honestly think some lumbersexual guys are sooooo gay. They are into fashion more than some women do. I’ve had close encounters with several men like them in the past, and man, was I both turned on and off at the same time. I like men with a great sense of fashion and style, but what if those men also like men? *drops mic* *picks it up*

ralph lauren denim and supply collection:
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Last time, this lumbersexual guy AKA my almost lover asked me, “What if you find a guy who lives near you?” I wasn’t able to respond, but in my mind, I was thinking, “But these guys in my area also like guys!” And take note, these guys are bearded guys with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). I just can’t go along with guys like them. If you’re a woman, you’ve got to have a beard longer than theirs to go along with them. Also, make sure your beard isn’t found down under. 😛

My friend and I have been trolling lumbersexuals on Instagram lately, and I die laughing every time we find some with realllly sexy bearded faces. They either turn out to be gay, married or have family and commitment issues.

When you think about it, they’re like the perfect ones. Their manliness is so calculated. They look so great with flannel, denim and leather boots. You’ ll never have problems with them having too much beer or whiskey because with them, “too much” never exists.

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And beard oil, my gosh, I never knew this thing actually exists! There’s this guy I’ve been following here for a while now. My friend and I also trolled him on Instagram, but mind you, he’s a sexy lumbersexual candidate. (I volunteer him as tribute!)

I have started writing this a week ago but I couldn’t finish it as I was busy trolling and saying mean things to the other undeserving lumbersexual guys on Instagram. I decided to send this guy a DM instead:

(non-verbatim)

Me: Hey, my friend wants to know how you maintain your beard, and if you have a Snapchat?

Of course, I also used it as an excuse to get his Snapchat. Duhhh?!

He replied briefly with a laughing intro. (YESSSS. He found it funny! Diana earns all the brownie points!)

(nonverbatim)

Him: Hahahahaha. I use beard oil and beard balm on it daily. *followed by his Snapchat username*  I also carry a comb around for it, it is made from plastic and cost me 0.75 dollars.

I laughed so hard as much as he did. It was a short, but funny encounter though.

I mean…this trend is so tricky. When you find a guy with a lumbersexual style, you’ll never know whether this guy is into you, or he’s just using this trend as an excuse to lure other lumbersexuals into “hanging out” with him…unless you put yourself out there and be investigative. Now you know what I have been up to lately. Yes, that’s right. While mending my broken heart (lol), I have been Sherlock-ing. Not only for pleasure, but also for future missions. *inserts smirky face*

Now, what do I really want to point out in this post? I’m sorry I got distracted and said so many things. I tend to be so talkative when my emotions are all over the place. All I want to say is that…although these guys look perfect, you should not let yourself be fooled because they’re just gonna break your heart. I am still bitter, okay? I can’t help that. Look at these:

Hot, right? I want to gather all these lumbersexuals and set them on fire. It’s not even November yet. LOL. Bye.

PS: Shoutout to the blogger and lumbersexual guy I mentioned in this post. I’m not sorry I used you. 😛

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  • Lmao. I was laughing the whole time I was reading this! 😛

    • I know you’re into lumbersexuals as well. I should set you on fire, too. HAHA. Kidding! 🙂

  • My top two responses to this are:
    1 – I will never look at a bearded man the same, ever!
    2 – I am lucky I am twice you age sweetheart, or, I would be on the next plane over with my cowboy boots and a bottle of whiskey. Hee-Haw!

    • Hahahaha! Do you grow your beard, sir? 😀 I’m sorry if this changed the way you view a bearded man. 😛

  • Wow this was a fun read. Witty and funny lol. Good one really enjoyed it.

    • Thanks, hun! I am so glad you had fun reading it! 🙂 <3

  • Diana Ruth: Beard Slayer, Rider and Worshiper.

    • Bearded men are supposed to like wo/men who like bearded men…but it isn’t happening. WHYYYY ahhhhhhh!?! The things I would do! Hahaaha.

      PS: Almost done with work! <3

      • HAHAHHA the things I HAVE DONE!

        • The things you have done, I am just about to do. Hahaha! Loveya my honeybunch! ~

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