Photograph

by

My favorite photograph of us together
Was the one taken in New Year’s Eve
We were standing in the middle of the crowd
Frozen in our own feet
Ignoring the busy movements
And the noise of people around us
We were the only ones who had sparkly masks on
And it made me feel special — like we were there on a special mission
When the camera light flashes, my eyes were also smiling
(You know when you smile and your eyes are almost closed?)
My heart wanted to pump out of my body
You stopped and pointed at the DJ and we both laughed
at how pretentious she was
yet enthusiastic about what she was doing
I loved the way you laugh
despite the fact I hated how you sounded whenever you’d speak
My favorite photograph of us
Was the first photograph we took together
Because that was what started the series of photographs we had
The one in Manila Bay on a sunny afternoon
The one at the airport when you were leaving
The one on my birthday in a hotel in smelly Sai Ying Pun
And another one at a different airport when I knew I’d never see you again
We only had a few
But each of these photographs was special
My heart used to break
Every time I looked at them
But now that time has passed
I could already look at them
Without my heart shattering into pieces
and without tears in my eyes.
My love,
New Year’s Eve is just around the corner again
We’ll never have another photograph,
but this memory will forever be stuck in my mind
every time the clock strikes to twelve
every time the sky brightens with fireworks
every time I close my eyes
I’d always remember you standing in front of me
with your phone camera on
capturing me as I dance under the colorful lights with my mask on
And I wonder if you remember this photograph I have in my mind.

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