Note: This post is a creative essay about a specific kind of fear people encounter when falling in love with the distance — giving up. Before we push ourselves right in the battlefield, we think about giving up…and it’s a fear that comes back every now and then. I was feeling anxious more than usual lately, so in behalf of everyone in a relationship, I wanted to write and share this post with you.
Right before I fall for you, I want you to be aware that once I do, I would want you to be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I would not imagine myself with somebody else. I would never look forward to the day I’d be falling out of love with you because I do not want to think that it would be possible for me to live a life without you.
I would have lots of things to wish for if I ever be with you. I’d wish that we both could live a hundred years together, so we would have more time to be with each other. I’d wish that we were born in the same place at the same time because it is kind of unsettling to think that I had spent twenty-two years of my life not knowing you.
You may think I would be incapable of loving you forever, and I wish to prove you wrong. But just in case I fail, I am writing this beforehand to ask for your forgiveness if I ever do you wrong.
I want you to forgive me if the day comes that I stop loving you. Forgive me if suddenly, I fall out of love and I don’t seem to care anymore. It doesn’t mean that because I am no longer in love with you, my love for you is never real. Forgive me if one day, you realize that I lied to you when I said I would never give up on you. I have always thought I am not capable of giving up most especially when it comes to you.
I want you to forgive me if one day, I stop waiting for you. I promise that you will always be on top of my priorities, but if I fail, please do forgive me. I hope you would realize how hard it is to wait for something, and not be able to know how long it would take. Forgive me if I lose my patience and I am no longer able to give you the attention I used to shower you with.
Forgive me if I stop being the person you supposedly fell for. Forgive me if I cease to be that person who would give you the world and sacrifice everything for you. Forgive me if one day you realize that I am not the most perfect lover. Forgive me if I don’t stick to my words.
If one day, all these things I am telling you happen, I want you to know that it isn’t your fault. It will never be. I want you to remember that I have loved you with all of my heart. I need you to understand that while some things last, there are still some that are bound to end. But despite everything, I want you to know that I do not regret falling in love with you.
So please forgive me if I stop loving you or if the day comes that my heart stops beating for you.