happiness

The Formula for Happiness

by

What makes you truly happy? How do you find happiness on your own and never depend it on people?

I have been asking a few select people this question for days now, and no one has given me a definite answer yet.

For me, the love I get from people around me is what fuels my happiness. I am not talking about the romantic kind of love. People make mistakes by thinking that romantic love is the only thing that could make someone infinitely happy. I am talking about love in its purest form — love you never have to ask or beg for, and love that comes out naturally.

I have met so many people in my life who have told me I should not depend my happiness on something as abstract as love. My thought? I think they are hypocrites pretending to look tough in front of people, making them feel as though they do not need love to feed their heart and soul.

A friend of mine sent me a message earlier telling me that he has been thinking about my question and couldn’t come up with a good answer yet.

I can only think of one factor that hinders people from answering my question.

Acceptance.

Sometimes people do not accept the fact that love does make the world go round. It does move mountains. It does cross oceans and traverse fault lines. I cannot blame them though. Unrequited love is often times the culprit. Sometimes people think no one would ever love them and that they would never be truly happy because of that.

Imagine me — as a woman full of love, a woman who loves dearly and is loved deeply in return. You will never see me get sad nor get angry. You will know I am happy even without smiling, and once I curve my lips upward, it will illuminate the entire sky. And that is because of the love that has been constantly feeding me happiness.

But life doesn’t always work that way, and everyone is different. We have different ways of coping and finding our own happiness.

What is amazing about love is that when it gives you infinite happiness, it spreads all through out like an infectious disease of a good kind. The thing is, when the love dies down, the happiness steams off as well.

And this is what people forget to take into account when looking for the things that make them happy. We put in so much effort to make sure there is love because we know how it greatly influences how we feel, but once love and happiness cease to exist, we just let them disappear like a balloon slowly deflating into the sky.

I am not ashamed to admit that without love, I will never be truthfully happy. Without love, I find it hard to get inspired and motivated. I think that this applies to everyone, but of course, only a few will admit.

I know so many people, most of them are close to me, who will never accept this fact. Tell me, doesn’t your family’s love make you happy? How would you feel if you had no family and no friends who would always remind you that you were loved? Will you find eternal happiness from your degree? Your job? Your new clothes? That girl or guy in your bed whose name you cannot remember?

I don’t think so. Maybe you could, but you would probably end up always trying to find that missing happiness in your life — that happiness only your family and your friends could fill.

Happiness isn’t about being selfish and learning to love yourself. It is abou

t being selfless and appreciating the love that people give you even when you think you don’t need it.

As early as now, accept and appreciate the love that people around you shower you for it is what has been fueling your soul without you knowing.

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  • Jonas Verdeflor

    Thank you for an inspiring reflection. People can sometimes find it hard to accept that they’re being loved (whether by friends, family or God). That requires vulnerability. A hard shell might prevent feeling pain, but it would never feel love. Keep smiling in your part of the world. 🙂

  • Great post Diana, thanks for this injection of positive energy!

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