Fall in Love with the One Who Found You When You Couldn’t Find Yourself

I always tell myself…

Fall in love with yourself first.

But that line has long been kept and hidden in the depth of my consciousness.

When you’re so lost, even when you love yourself, you’re still lost.

That’s not going to change.

Until you open your eyes and realize who’s there for you when you’re busy focusing on yourself because you don’t know what to do.

So fall in love.

Not only with yourself.

But also with the one choosing to fall in love with you when you’re busy trying to learn how to love yourself.

Fall in love with someone.

Fall in love with the one who found you when you were lost.

Falling in love. Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes it’s difficult. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes it doesn’t happen at all.

But when you do fall in love, I hope you fall in love with the right one.

Fall in love with the one who found you when you were still lost. 

When you still can’t figure out yourself. 

When you still don’t know what you want. 

When you still have no idea what to do and how to do things.

Fall in love with the one who saw you first when you were vulnerable. 

The one who saw the tears in your eyes that night you curled up in the dark.

The one who knew what’s hurting you.

The one who always knew how to make things right and less painful.

Fall in love with the one who doesn’t leave whether you’re at your best or you’re at your worst.

The one who could always put a smile on your face when everything in this world seems to be conspiring against you.

The one who would be willing to be your life support.

The one who would always make sure they’ve got your back.

Fall in love with the one who would always choose you, choose to love you, choose to be with you.

Because being with you is not just for convenience.

It’s not just for company.

But also because it is the only choice that would make that other person happy.

Fall in love. Even when you think you’re just romanticizing.

Even when you think you’re better off alone.

Even when you think it’s enough to just love yourself.

Fall in love even when you think it is the wrong time to do so.

Because darling, it’s only wrong timing when it’s with the wrong person.

But with the right person, there’s never a wrong time.

Two Kinds of People Who Consume Love

There are two kinds of people around the dining table — one that leaves when the best dish is no longer being served, and one that stays craving for something more of what’s no longer there.

When it comes to love, you need to know which of the two you are supposed to be.

Leave the table when love is no longer being served.

Or teach yourself to stay, to hope that maybe more love will come later. To work things out because love is worth it. It’s all worth it.

 

Gift Ideas — DIY Dream Catcher

Are you running out of ideas on what to give your special someone, your friend or a member of your family? Don’t worry. I got you covered. LOL. I sounded like a TV promoter/advertiser. 😀

Anyways, it’s that time of the year where everyone is giving everyone something, you know, for Valentines Day and all that. So I have decided to share something I recently did. I just thought gifts help make a relationship better. But I don’t know. (Any thoughts?)

I have always been obsessed with dream catchers. Who wouldn’t be, though? Dream catchers are so pretty and so meaningful. They convey a meaning that’s very important for those who believe in its power to fight bad dreams AKA nightmares.

So I started learning how to make my own dream catchers from scratch. All I needed were hoops, feathers, strings and some beads. I’m not going to teach you how to make it, alright. I’m just here to give you ideas and to show you my photos. Haha! So here is my dream catcher. It’s not mine anymore since I have gifted it to my loved one.

To make it look even more special, I wrote a poem for him and put everything in a pretty box that I actually just bought from the bookstore. What a lucky guy! 😛

If you want to make your own dream catcher, you know there’s Google (try it, hahaha) and Pinterest. I learned to make dream catchers by watching videos and studying photos on Pinterest! Here is a helpful guide for you: for 35 DIY Dream Catcher Ideas and for easy tutorials.

Let me know what you’re thinking by commenting below! Feel free to waste your time by clicking the like button and sharing this post, too. Thanks! 😛

Being Cool Doesn’t Always Guarantee Happiness and Stability

Being cool doesn’t always guarantee happiness and stability…especially when you’re faking it.

This is something I have realized a few failed relationships after. I have always been the cool girl. And when I say ‘cool girl’, I am referring to that type of girl who would let you do anything you want and wouldn’t care or worry so much about it. You want to date that other girl while you’re dating me? Sure. Just don’t let me see you both doing ‘it’. You want to check that girl out? Okay. But don’t talk to me about it. You want to cancel our date for another ‘meeting’? Sure. But I don’t want to hear about it later.

Earlier last year, I was in a not-so-serious relationship that lasted for three months. It was a semi-long distance, interracial, non monogamous relationship. If you asked me my relationship status during that time, I wouldn’t say I had a boyfriend, but I also wouldn’t say I did. I had…probably what I would call, a playmate…just because he has been playing with me all along. I was this close to saying I had a partner, but he wasn’t even close to being a partner. With him, even when we were physically together, I had always felt like I was a lone wolf in the desert.

I gotta admit this though, I didn’t like playing games. In my mind, I was too old to even think about stuff like that. To me, games were for juveniles, and I had worked and persevered enough to train myself to think and live like an adult. Other than that, my mom had always been behind me pushing me forward and reminding me that I am getting old and that I should be thinking about my future kids.

I can imagine my granny telling me “Diana, you’re only twenty-four, relax!” Every time my mom puts so much pressure on me, she always tells me to relax. And isn’t it weird how you get even more stressed out and feel more pressure when someone tells you that? It’s depressing.

But anyway, my three-month ‘short’ relationship had taught me so many things about life despite the negativities it also brought me. It may had triggered bad memories from my past and had made me scared of having a relationship with any heterosexual males (lol), but it wasn’t so bad after all. I had learned to face my fears alone, to stand on my own feet, to keep walking, to not just survive, but to live like it’s my freaking birthday every single day.

I had my ups and downs. I still do, especially now that my depression, which I thought has already vanished, has been floating in the air for me to touch and breathe in. I have the tendency to be in unhealthy relationships. I am now at a point where I am starting to think I attract people who don’t see my worth or people who take me for granted, so every time someone shows me unconditional love and makes me feel like I am worthy of the best things in life, I feel overwhelmed so much so that I slowly let myself drift away.

In my early years, I used to be in relationships with people younger than me. There were even times I was in multiple relationships all at the same time. That was because I wanted to be the dominant one. I wanted to be able to say, “Hey, I am older than you and I am more experienced so shut up and listen, child” every time I witnessed something that was unfavorable to me. I wanted to be able to use my metal hands to suffocate all boys I was with and make their lives a living hell.

But then my life turned upside down when I started becoming an actual adult doing actual adult stuff. It was stressful at first. I wasn’t too ready to grow up. But then, I also realized that one reason why people I was with never took me seriously was because I also took myself for granted. I thought that if I was the cool girlfriend, my partner would love me more. But the truth is, the more I let them think I was cool, the more they thought it was okay to step on me. And the more they pushed me over and over and over, the more I became unhappy and mentally unstable.

So now I am getting rid of the ‘cool’ me. And I’ll do my very best to be ‘just me’. There will be no more games. I’ll never say ‘okay’ again when I feel like things are not okay. I’m no longer gonna force myself to like things I don’t like. And if I ever be cool again, it’s because I’m genuinely cool, and not faking it.

The Downside of Soap Operas And What It Teaches Us About Relationships

I grew up watching Filipino soap operas with my grandparents. If I were to list down everything I had watched, it would probably close to one hundred. Maybe two hundred. Or maybe more than two hundred. I had lost count but if I were to exaggerate it, I had watched one million soap operas in my twenty-four years of existence. (Hahhhh! Beat me!)

I was watching a local show the other day when I thought about how soap operas greatly affect how people view relationships. The thing here is, we may or may not even be aware of what it does to us. We all hear the story of a young rich guy who falls in love with a young and economically-deprived girl. We all know the story of Romeo and Juliet where some soap operas seem to base or copy their story from. We all learn about the life of a rich girl and a rich boy whose love for someone isn’t reciprocated so they do everything, even sacrifice their wealth and morality, just to get what they want.

Whatever the story is and whoever writes it, we will always find that the conflict is always in between having conflicts in their relationships. There would always be tears, violence, abuse before there was a happy ending (if there is one).

And what does this teach us exactly?  How does this affect how we act into love and how we view relationships?

It teaches us about happy-ever-afters by showing us more of the negatives. It makes us believe that we should always endure love. It teaches us that love isn’t love when there is no pain, and that we must overcome challenges first before we achieve love.

It teaches us that it is okay to chase for people who don’t love us back because eventually, those people will learn to love us back, or if not, will be forced to do so. Antagonists in soap operas always have unrequited love with the lead male or female characters, and we all know how these people never give up no matter how difficult and impossible the situations are. And through this, we see persistence. Through this, we get the notion that if we only become more persistent and motivated, everything will fall into place, and that in the end, the final laugh is on us.

Watching soap operas teach us that it is okay to feel pain, that it is okay to let someone we love step on us over and over again if it means getting their attention. It teaches us about mental and physical abuse…about dysfunctional families… about non-loving relationships. It teaches us how to view relationships the most fucked up way.

It turns us into masochists. It gives us the idea that if one isn’t feeling any pain, it isn’t love at all. We then enjoy getting hurt. We are lured into thinking that having unrequited love is fun. We are led to believe that nonmonogamous relationships are natural. We fall in love with the idea of competition — of competing with other people to win someone’s love and attention.

Love sometimes becomes chaotic and messy, but is isn’t supposed to be always difficult, like those in soap operas. Relationships aren’t supposed to make us sad, lonely and depressed. We do get our own tastes of depression and abuse because sometimes we believe it is normal and it’s okay. What’s not okay is to think that everyone must have to endure it and live with it.

Nevertheless, soap operas aren’t bad at all because somehow, someway, it shows us the realities of life. It motivates us to get what we want. It tells us that some things happen for a reason some are just really inevitable. I think it is just how we let these influence the way we see things. And they will never go away. They will always be there in our TVs, waiting to tempt us and challenge our beliefs.

 

Disclaimer: This is only my opinion on one aspect of soap operas and I still love watching them every now and then. It’s just that I have already learned never to believe everything I see and hear.* 😀