She Believes in Forever That Doesn’t Exist

by

“Why her and not me?”

She asked herself numerous times why you didn’t choose her. Until one day, she realized that your decision not to choose her doesn’t exactly define her worth. She knew that she deserved the best things in life. You, too, knew that, but you couldn’t give that to her simply because you didn’t want to. You always wanted something else. You were always thirsty for more — more thrill, more fun. You wanted to find things that she didn’t have. After all the things she shared with you — her mind, her heart, her body, her soul –, you didn’t really end up getting to know her more. The more she shared with you, the more you didn’t understand. And you didn’t understand her simply because you didn’t want to.

You didn’t want to choose her, but you didn’t want to lose her as well. You wanted her to keep choosing you even if you could not do the same for her. She wanted unconditional love. You gave her love that was selfish and had lots of requirements. Maybe you wanted her to be happy, but you wanted more for yourself. Everything you did for her, you only did for yourself, because it didn’t necessarily made her happier. It made you happier.

And after all that, even if she knew you didn’t deserve her, you were still the one she would want and choose to be with forever…

…even if forever doesn’t really exist.

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